Love is that moment when chaos breaks loose
love is the rope around my neck, secured tightly by the noose
some say that all things become clearer over time
but love is the great exception that has neither reason nor rhyme
the dark of the night when you feel most without
love is that dawn that follows with little doubt
it controls you, mind, body, spirit, and soul
but in the end the price of love becomes a high toll
belief in this love that causes both pleasure and pain
keeps most hoping for the truth that lacks all disdain
love is that moment when you find that anything is probable
find yourself succumbed by loves raptures and your sure to feel unstoppable
but feelings mean nothing more than the words on this page
because even love can cause the deepest sentiments of rage
so dont get caught in your feelings and let love get the best of you
for even the deepest emotions for another dont always remain true.

Good enough is as good as its going to get you said to me
well *******
i refuse to settle
if that means im alone
so be it
if it means im the only one left
so be it
i will not settle
and i will not believe that happiness stops at good enough
because nothing is good enough
not until its perfect
and you may say perfection doesnt exist
but thats because you give up at good enough
and you dont know where to look for perfection
ive seen perfection in the eyes of the broken hearted
perfectly miserable
ive seen perfection in the arms of someone else
perfectly invisible
ive seen perfection in words
perfect explanantion
and ive seen perfect in myself
perfectly hopeless
so dont tell me that good enough is as good as its going to get
because i know perfect exists
ive seen it
and i know my perfect is out there
and ill be here waiting
and you, you can just settle
because thats good enough for you
and thats as good as you will ever get

I believe in romance, in fairy tales coming true, I believe in people like you
I believe in love at first sight, and the perfect kiss, I believe that it doesn’t hurt to wish
But maybe things don’t always happen the way you want or need
Maybe things just are because that’s the way they have to be
Maybe everything really is for a reason, and what I did wasn’t in vain
And maybe there’s a reason that these feelings remain
There’s things I can’t tell you but how I wish I could
Things I cant articulate but I know I probably should
There’s these words, that no longer lack meaning
And this heart that has once again started beating
There are these signs that I should really read
Signs of hope and faith and love that I should heed
But then there’s my mind telling me to run away
Telling me to save myself before I get broken, or thrown away
And then of course there is you, and I’m lost
Because I don’t know what to do, and your heart is paying the cost
Im afraid of loosing you, but im afraid to be with you
Im afraid your words were just that and untrue
I believe in romance, and fairy tales, but I live my life in fear
I believe in love at first sight, and the perfect kiss, but all ive ever known are tears
I believe in you, and you believe in me, but im afraid of being happy
I believe in taking risks, and letting my heart go, but right now I just don’t know
I believe in running away, I always have, but you, you make me want to stay.
So I don’t know what to do, but my mind, its just keeps returning to you.
11/27/09

I am like the moon, lonely yet complete
guiding those who have lost their way
glistening in the sweet summer heat
taking the last shift of the day

I am like the wind, constantly moving
afraid to be still or become complacent
a threat to myself but to others so soothing
perched on top of this world yet slightly adjacent

I am like the sun, there every time you need it
giving hope and expecting nothing in return
constantly rising for others benefit
emitting heat in the form of geinuine concern

I am like the stars, a small reminder you are not alone
however far we may or may not be
proving to be surrounded by others while still on our own
those who feel isolated can look to me

i am like the rain, beautifully depressing
pouring out of the clouds as though theyre my soul
with each drop another truth i am confessing
sharing my secrets without the slightest control

There are words that i can not use
truths that i must never speak
phrases i continue to abuse
and lies that i am forced to keep

there are stories that would ease your pain
so cleverly depicted
syllables of a tyrants campaign
to conceal a life so scripted

we are the same
mind, body and soul
eager for a change
but lacking any control

we are the people, the fools
the followers of the crowd
obeying each and every rule
so oblivious, so proud

we are we, the majority
the ever necessary factor
fight  back for your authority
break free from your captor

allow yourself a voice
and break the silence
may the truth be your choice
and forever your guidance

I'm trapped
In a love that is so wonderful and perfect
its not real nor does it exist.
i'm trapped inside my mind and heart and soul
for they hold the Beatles and all of my favorite songs.
I'm trapped
inside on a rainy day
because you know the sound of the water hitting the ground
is one of the most beautiful melodies to my ears, its true.
i'm trapped because i want to be
because the moaning coming from your room tells me to be, i think.
i think, therefor i am, therefore i feel, therefor i writhe in pain,
like the little girl saying Daddy please don't go, don't leave me, please no.
I'm trapped because i think if i stay the exact same you'll wake up and realize that you want me,
the way i was back when you needed me,
back when you loved me,
back before she was around.
like i said, i'm trapped
trapped inside this mind that only deals in make believe and fantasies,
Cinderella stories and snow white because you know they all got their prince.
trapped inside my carriage on the way to the ball because my fairy god mother forgot to give me a handle, on life.
an escape route, a way out, a pause button,
so that when life just gets too hard to handle, i can breathe.
theres a sign on my wall that says one way, one way in, one way out
one way to misery and boy do i know that path like the back of my hand
it leads straight to your front door,
which consequently happens to be home.
i'm trapped inside my room thats right next to yours for we share
a hallway and a bathroom, and a kitchen and a living room,
physically, of course not emotionally.
trapped inside a relationship but i cant tell him the truth
for that would compromise my ability to be honest
and full disclosure is a must.
trapped inside my imagination that plays movies in my head
like all the remakes of Shakespeare's greatest,
only you **** me in the end.
trapped inside this body that is nothing more than a product of my feelings,
i used to be thin, i swear.
trapped at the bottom of this bottle for that is what i turn to every weekend
when you sneak off with her.
i'm trapped in a corner with my head between my knees
thinking, what else could i possibly do.
i'm trapped inside this hospital, the doctor diagnosed me with an incurable disease,
they call it love.
trapped inside these restraints, my hands and feet, and tongue, for i cannot tell you the truth.
now you're trapped inside the waiting room
with mourning loved ones and horrible coffee
awaiting the fate of a truly terrible friend.
i'm trapped inside the thought that you think i was only there because i was in love with you,
well....
its not true, you were my best friend and i was yours and ****** we were good together.
i'm trapped because i know i will never survive
but you, you were always so much stronger than me
i know you'll be fine,
so you can call it, time of death: 1:29.

forgetting, i hear will solve anything
but how much does one wish to forget
all of the issues at hand, or just the ones with meaning
and does one get a clean slate, or is there a sort of debt

if one was to truly forget, the pain and heartache
would it make any of it worth it?
does the pleasure in fact justify the heartbreak
or is it the heartbreak that justifies a romantic

if one chose to forget and then didn't know how to love
didn't know how to feel
didn't know how to hurt
then would any of it be real
would any of it be worth anything of the sort

because heartache may be rough
and the pain unbearable
but isn't love just as tough
and even more, incomparable

i can not say, for i choose not to forget
i would much rather remember however hurtful it may be
because love may be unrequited
but i would much rather hurt than not know what causes this misery


perhaps in the end, loosing feeling is the debt
and all thats really left is in fact regret.