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May 2014
Sometimes I still wake up in the middle of the night.
Sometimes I still wake up in the middle of the night. Dark, and alone.
Sometimes I still wake up in the middle of the night just to sit up and stare at the wall for a bit
Sometimes I still wake up in the middle of the night, turn on the tv and flip through channels
Sometimes I still wake up in the middle of the night, turn the tv off and just think
sometimes I still wake up in the middle of the night and think about my friends that say they love me.
Sometimes I still wake up in the middle of the night and think about my friends and how I don’t think they truly care.
Sometimes I still wake up in the middle of the night and think and cry and think and sob in an endless cycle.
Sometimes I still wake up in the middle of the night and think about how I can put a smile on my face for my friends.
Sometimes I still wake up in the middle of the night and think about the smile that’s missing from my heart.
Sometimes I still wake up in the middle of the night and realize I haven’t gotten better.
Sometimes I still wake up in the middle of the night and ask why God decided to put me here.
Sometimes I still wake up in the middle of the night and think of how I can get out.
Sometimes I still wake up in the middle of the night and cry and cry and cry.
Sometimes I still wake up in the middle of the night and think that if I was man enough I would end it all.
Sometimes I still wake up in the middle of the night and think about how much I want out.
Sometimes I still wake up in the middle of the night and I can’t go back to sleep.
Sometimes I still wake up in the middle of the night and go back to sleep.
Sometimes I still wake up in the morning and wait in horror for the vicious cycle to repeat and the sorrow to return.
Sometimes I wish I didn’t wake up…..at all.
Written by
Chris Renninger  Monticello, New York
(Monticello, New York)   
804
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