They continually tell me about my life
My Mother, my family, my friends
It's not like I want their advice
Again and again and again

I have someone special I always turn to
Whenever it is I'm feeling down
A professional that lays out the hard truth
The best in advice to be found

No fancy titles or degrees on the walls
Simply known to many as Bob
Keeps the drinks and advice always flowing
Say's he's just a bartender doing his job

Having trouble with your latest lover?
Keep getting guff from the boss?
Bob's always there to give you a listen
Keep the drinks coming...the only cost

The more drink get I advoice better
From Bip, Bop, ****, why can't I remember his name?!
As the regular old women start looking like exotic dancers
That's when I ask what's his name for some change

With eagerness I start filling the juke box
Asking all the old hags if they'd like to dance
It's too late but tomorrow a slight memory
Will ask what was up with all that

I even drunk texted my girlfriend
Pictures of incriminating positions
And a 4am call to the boss
Telling him where to cram his restaurants ***** dishes

I certainly made a mess of my life
And have no idea where I left the car
In desperate need of advice
I head back down to the bar...