right now
time only serves
to torment me

taking all the best moments
and erasing them
a little bit at a time
until i can barely
recall the things
i used to care about

the world around me
is often
suffocating
making me feel
as if a boa constrictor
is squeezing
tightly around me

i have been crushed
into little
ugly
icky
piles of dust
because of my
inability
to avoid
falling in lust
and the amount of times
i‘ve left my heart out in the rain
it’s just layered
and coated
in rust

i am stuck
on repeat
like a skipping
disk
always taking
a risk
when i find myself
getting too comfortable
then letting
all my progress
go to ****

my brain
is sometimes
kinda smart
but my heart
is the biggest idiot
which is why
so often
i try not to admit
the stupid ****
that hides
deep inside of it

the life i thought i knew
is crumbling beneath me
and i keep falling through
hitting each and every obstacle
that has found its way
into my existence
there’s no point
in showing resistance
i keep falling and falling
but i never
finish
going
the distance