I cascade into riddles
while playing the broken fiddle
Strings bent by my flailing bow,
screeching cat meows
wailing into the still night

But for a second I am forgotten,
closed eyes memories faded but no one is talking,
I reconcile my internal differences
on ketamine and ****,
while sifting through the coke on the mirror.

Hampering visions of self-mistrust,
this place seems all too familiar.
I am guilted into a frenzy of denial and hate,
flaccid feelings designed to rule my mind,
stepping over casualties left in my wake.

The second hand of time
disrupts my calculated and distraught brain,
begging for forgiveness, I am in denial.
Restitution beckons my calling,
trapped in a killing jar all by myself

Where do I turn but to the inside,
feelings drift apart while my heartbeat fades.
Internally drained, stained, and maimed.
It's the useless sense of nothing
that surrounds me