You only touch me when I’m not looking Stuck in traffic, my eyes on the road Or when I pretend to be asleep, Afraid to breathe, to startle you— You, like a deer in the headlights; Me, the driver, blinded by the night It is strange: the touch, the flinch In the moment of alert and panic It felt warm like the blood of the dear Oozing, reaching the car, To finally meet the driver Touching me terrifies you to death And only in death are you brave enough To reach for me, embrace me It’s you who flinch now when I look, Hand quicker than your thoughts You didn’t hesitate, and I didn’t ask Lights off now, I get out of the car But you have run off to where I cannot see you
Been aching to write something after not having been able to for a while, and so this happened. I miss my mother but she is no longer here. She's alive, just no longer the her that I'd go to for comfort. I can count the times she really embraced me with only one hand, and even that is too much to count with.