The sunshine melts in from the dark. The summer sunflowers start their morning yellow glow. From the dark of nights despair and suffering. The light of questioning wakes up, I begin to ask why the pain?
Did I, or do I have the capacity to be optimistic of my will? Over matters of the past?
Shame, denial, self- soothing, trying to escape emotional pain through all varieties of addictive responses to life.
Understanding this new target for my heart, mind, and body gives me optimism of the will while knowing there will always be suffering.
I ask myself, what is my capacity? As the light rises in the morning I feel more air to breathe in. Aware of the air inside of me whether in dark or light, carries some vessel of hope to help ward off the strength of suffering.
I am not the wave. I am the ocean. The womb. Conceptualize the possibilities in this morning dry landscape, before abandonment. Conceptualize having what you need. Ease and compassion enters. Possibilities move through with ease and healing is within reach.
The capacity to heal needs warmth like the morning globe of light.
Reflecting on addiction with conversation between Deepak Chopra and Gabore Mate