I feel it bubbling up again Like nausea, the feeling right before you ***** Uncontrollable and unstoppable And utterly gut wrenching and ugly A crush---
I can't just crush on you Without being crushed The weight of wanting like a boulder on my chest It hurts, it heaves It takes over my brain like a parasite I feel little worms carrying thoughts of you across my synapses Eventually, my cells will be rewritten with your image The image that I've created in my head And the image of me that I imagine you want
I will look in the mirror and I will no longer see my face I will only see through your eyes, I will see myself as what I need to change to be wanted by you
I can't do this I'm ripping you off my skin, I'm clawing my way back through the mirror I am holding my eyes wide open Reality check--- I can't lose myself in someone else again I can't break my own heart I can't crush or be crushed