from the moment i opened my eyes i had no choice but to love you to cherish you as if one day you would leave me and start a new family somewhere far away from the moment i could stand i had no choice but to run to you for comfort and love but father, tell me, why don’t i feel loved? is there something wrong with me? is there a secret you haven’t told? that you have never loved me at all how come you don’t want me? from the moment i began to think i could only ask myself the same questions over and over, father, tell me, is it something i’ve done? is it that i’m the mistake you’ve created? or how much burden i bring you? how much i am spending? but father, each day i live as if i am no longer human my needs do not exist because those of yours are mine so father, tell me when has your love for me finally died?
Written 17 October 2019 immediately after a fight with my dad lol