When I stare at my screen to write or have a spare moment to myself All I can think of is you. It’d be foolish to call you my muse But your presence in my life has struck a cord I can’t seem to shake Try as I might to forget you our memories flow into my mind so effortlessly
A part of me wonders if your thoughts wander to me too like the nights of pulling me closer to your chest, but another part doesn’t want to know in fear that you no longer feel the same. It’s ironic, really that I used to feel so open with you and would tell you everything. Now I’m scared to know what you’re thinking, so I live in this fantasy of unawareness to keep my feelings from shattering further
I hate to admit my weaknesses and try to hide my emotions when I can but you see through me so easily So I think it’s safe to say my biggest weakness has become you.
I love you and it has taken me too long to say this. I held off knowing my words would sound more selfish than endearing, but it was so hard not to fall for you. You made everything feel so right. So, my skydive began As felt myself plummet to the Earth’s surface but with you at my side I felt invincible.
So, when I think of you my mind flutters not only for everything we were but everything we could’ve been. I think of the misfortune of our situation but maybe that’s what made me grasp a little tighter hold a little longer and be a little more carefree with my feelings.
Maybe it would’ve been different if we could’ve truly been together. We could’ve fallen out of love as so many couples do or turned too comfortable in each others company. I like to fantasize a different reality where our futures collided and never strayed; they stay entangled like our legs under the sheets...
But, I'm torturing my mind at this point waving what could be in my face beating a dream until every last drop has seeped from its corpse, but like the undead it seems to always rise at night and haunt my thoughts as I try to fall asleep.
I honestly didn’t know a heart could hurt this much. This constant sinking feeling in my chest that has anchored itself within me. Try as I might I can’t shake it it physically hurts knowing you can’t be mine not because of lack of passion but rather our lives taking different directions.
The worst part about this is not only watching you slip away but knowing it’d be selfish to try to stop you.