Even during seemingly normal days
days I would deem okay,
I find my mind drifting back
to memories of liquor and pills
oxy and xanax
wax coating on my lips
the kind of numbness that would make any addict jealous
Liquor and pills are my way of making sure I don’t have to rely on days that are just okay
to help curve all of the days that are not
I long to believe things are over again
so i can have every reason to let go again