Every  minute
Of every day
I beg myself
Not to fight you

Not because I fear I'll lose
And not because of politeness cowardice,
Or weakness
But because this **** is not a
Game to the rest of us

And we've had the anger
thrown at us


since we could stand
Therefore we refrain from
Showing our fangs until
We have to bite back

I'd rather show I can stand for
something/someone
That I love and believe
With patience,
Humility,
And grace

Truth is,  
I hate seeing my dad in me
When rage rushes in
And makes the stage
its playground
Which creates the most terrifying
Plot-Twist
I tried my damnedest
not to star in
The entire time
Then  BAM
........................
Now, what fresh hell is this?

Oh so I guess
I'm both hero
And villan
flinching from glass shattering
Like a halo above my head
While screams fill my nemesis
With momentary madness
Breaking everything of mine
That's in sight

To try and frighten me?
Or cause me to cry in a high pitched whine you must like when I
  Hypervintalate til I'm blue in the face
Reliving worst fears
Miracles that came and I nearly made my escape
Only bc something saved me
But why is it were brought back
To walk right through hell
Again
Yelling "How could you"!
Chasing my self through hallways
Swearing to catch her