i will no longer allow myself
to lose my soul
in attempts of assisting you in finding
what i've been made to believe is
your sanity
i've spent too many nights
racing through your mental labyrinth
only to turn around and realize
you were never running beside me
the second i stepped foot into your maze
you locked the door behind me
and you had already obtained
everything
you could have ever desired
and more
you watched me sprint suicides in circles
my attempts to mend every crack
in your walls
using only the select parts of me
you craved, relied on, and would accept
you guilted and intoxicated me
every time i tried to say no to you
you exploited me and my entire body
for your entertainment and your pleasure
then boasted and smirked
over all the pain you inflicted on me
with a whole world i once knew
knowing i could never return the same without the reminder of everything
that you did to me
no matter how much you clawed out of me
i was never enough in your eyes
months later,
i still think i may have left a piece
of my being in there
after needing to use
my own bones,
the last piece of myself i clung to in there,
as a ladder
to finally get out of there
and rescue myself
i had to save what i had left for my survival
and if you ever truly loved me
the way you said you did
i hope you can understand