I search for him, he who would take my pain and carry it as his own
even just for a moment, so I that I could feel what it is to breathe without this weight on my ribcage.
They walk through my gates
through my garden,
and see the ugliness of my pain holding court in the center, and would flee in fear and disgust.
And each time I sat next to my pain, holding its hand and letting my tears nourish the earth around its deep roots that wind through, because nothing and no one else dared to go nearer.
I sat, the only company my pain has ever known and told it with damp eyes that watch the abandon, that they are beautiful just as they are,
and that men that can't see beauty in pain, are simply boys playing.
And each time, my heart bleeds a little less.
And so I sit in wait with the only real company I've ever known and hope for more, tomorrow.