Someone asked “  why do you do what you do?”
I said “ for improvement” “ for enjoyment”
Though I wanted to say
Because this is the only thing getting me through the pain.
The exercise gets my mind off me missing someone
Missing the love of my life
The sweat makes me forget the pain in my chest
Makes me forget how broken I am inside
Makes my mind flicker for a second of something but my stress my depression my loneliness
I do this to get through day by day
Get through the struggles to get out of bed
To get through painful moments so my mind slows down to sleep
So I can make it to sunset to call it a day
Just to redo the next
Because giving up was never given to me as a choice
So the stolen heart of mine stop hurting
So my pass doesnt Haunt me
So I have the energy to put on a fake smile like a fool
So I have the strength to play this game of pretend
So I don’t cry in front of them
So I look intimidating enough  people leave me alone
So that I don’t break into Pieces in front of them
Hoping someone will take this pain off my shoulders
But I lied and said “ for improvement. “ for enjoyment”
So I play the game. So I play pretend.