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Sep 2020
How do you feel?
At first
It was as if I had no control
Completely vulnerable
But for some reason I had no worry about that thought

My voice going in and out
Laughs slipping on dry ice
Some obnoxious
Some lay there waiting for a pick me up

Unable to focus on one thought
They come in and out
As if my brain was central station

Forever moving
Five minutes feel as though it's been an hour

Numb is the only sense coming to mind
Forgetting how to swallow
A sense of panic rises
With a blink that thought is gone

The laughs intruding
Unable to contain the air protruding out
My whole body numb

The feeling of pins and needles under my eyes
Growing heavy

Attempting to think straight
Unable to stress over anything
Everything that comes up
Gone after a blink

Being numb to pain
Unable to stress about anything
Was a dream
I never thought I could self induce

Staring
Hands jittering
A real smile plastered on my face
The laughs never seem to fade

Imagine living like this everyday
Forgetting every thought
Stresses melt away
Pain can’t even break the numbness that arose

Everything seemed to trigger a laugh
Any type of touched causing a flinch

Feeling this vulnerable was a mess
Unable to control any nerve
Arms involuntarily moving

I never thought being numb would feel so nice
Everything melted
Just call me the wicked witch of the east
Throw water on me
And watch me melt away with a smile

Throwing the thoughts away
Until the numbness slips away

Yearning for more after it completed
Never wanting to feel again
Welcoming the numbness
I already miss it.
Written by
Jessica Hanna  F
(F)   
362
   Eman
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