I don’t like to be touched
That’s the vibe I’ll give off
But deep down inside I want to be touched
I want to be embraced each time I see someone
I’ll prepare myself and tell myself
This time you’re gonna try
I’ll build myself up
But I never commit to the climb
All my friends know I hate to give hugs
I’m never the first one to initiate the hug
Even though I want to
I desperately need to
I’ll hide this intimate secret craving
I’m worried that I’ll make it awkward
That I’ll hold on too tight
Or even worse
That I’ll let you hold a piece of my heart
Which I hold so tight inside my chest
I hate to give anyone the power to hurt me
I truly hate it
It’s the worse feeling
To trust someone with something so fragile to me
It’s my most precious gift
I refuse to share it with just anyone
But these are my walls I built
Walls covered in barbed wire and roses
The walls are so pretty to me
They kept me safe
They are my insecurities
I don’t want my walls to come down crumbling
I need to build a door
A door will keep my rose covered barbed wired walls to remain standing
A door can provide me an escape from my secret garden of memories
A door will allow me to showcase my secret garden