sometimes i get so sad that i shut down. i forget how to move. i forget how to speak. people talk to me, but i cant hear them. sometimes i get so sad that i cant even cry. a feeling of numbness washes over me. other times, i feel lie if i get out of bed, ill surely die.

sometimes i get so happy that i go into overdrive. i forget what sadness feels like. i forget how to stop speaking and laughing. i feel as if my heart will explode and ill never be able to stop the surge of joy. sometimes i get so happy that i cry while i smile. a feeling of euphoria washes over me. other times i feel that if i dont share this feeling, ill surely die.

then there are periods of nothing. i guess what im looking for is balance. how do i find harmony?

i dont want to fall too hard
or jump too high

i just want to walk on water.