it’ll be autumn and halloween in no time. this cooler weather is more my style, but not good for the chemicals in my brain. gloomy, cloudy days seem fitting, when really they’re lethal days if you’re not careful. still, when the sun peeks out and warms my skin i remember the summer days of my childhood which reminds me that the seasons change and that if there is discomfort or pain, it won’t last forever. my sister had a baby, my nephew. i was half as far along as her, before i lost mine. baby - i hope you come back to me. it’s crazy how life punches you in the gut and doesn’t offer you a single remedy. you must find your own way, and salve your own wounds. crazy how i say your name every day, but you’ll never come back, i’ll never see you again. or smell you, or be held by you. why do i have a hard time saying goodbye? maybe because i never got to say goodbye, or see you for a last time. maybe because i’m a bona fide baby.
anyway.