I have been contemplating for days now or even more.
I even seek for answers from you but all I got was nothing.
I don't blame you for that. You're just being you.
I have reached to the point that I secretly ask for you to stop reaching me out.
And, I blatantly ask for a cool off, a break, a space but you refused.
There's one thing that I am sure of, I don't want to make arguments with you.
Though, the quest lives on and it's getting arduous.
At times, I'd end up crying and felt hopeless.
And, I feel like I'm being subjugated by this quest.
I prayed so hard each day and even ask for a sign that could shed light to all this.
Just this day, an unexpected realization sunk in to my mind.
At first, I thought that I just fell out of love. Subconsciously, my mind was fighting over it.
This what actually prevails, "SELFLESS LOVE".
Often times, you would hear me asking for you to message me in the morning, at noon, at night.
Sometimes you do, sometimes you don't.
But, it's all fair.
I said, "I LOVE YOU" and your consistent response was, "As it should".
Again, it is still fair.
I'm not being sarcastic here. But, I truly understand what you are trying to imply.
You are just expressing your thoughts and what your heart is actually telling you.
I have realized that at this point, you don't love me in the same way that I do.
Though, I know that you truly care about me in which I am very grateful for.
And, it would be very unfair for you to do things that you're not comfortable with.
It is always good to let things flow naturally not forcibly.
You would still hear me saying, 'I love you' and asking for you to message me but it's not something that you are oblige to do.
It's just me trying to be sweet? to be cute? (I don't know how you would take it)
I perfectly understand what "SELFLESS LOVE" is.
I don't worry about the outcome or whether I am giving more.
All I know is that I love you wholeheartedly and I don't expect something from you in return.
..."To love selflessly, makes me feel good and whatever I'm getting, it's always the right amount."