I am back to my middle school self

I can feel my bones decaying back to
that little 5'1 girl,
hiding in the back of class,

shoulders hunched with pressure
for perfection,
worry etched in lines
on her thighs.

The child no more but not quite the adult yet,
sitting down to eat alone.

Alone, I enjoy it.

No one to worry about, no one to care,

Alone,

I can die, Alone, without a soul left to haunt me.

Alone,
Waiting for freedom,

was death what I was waiting for?

Alone.