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Apr 2019
I hate me, I hate everything about me,
The things you can see, and especially those you can't see,
I hate living, getting up every day,
Make money, they say, gotta get paid,
But I can barely stand up in my own skin,
How do I help others, when I can't begin,
I'm stuck like cement in my own body,
And I wanna **** it sometimes, don't tell Mommy,
She's still traumatized,
From all the other times,
I downed a bottle of pills,
Hoping I'd get out of this place,

So someone help me, help me live,
Because it can't always be like like this,
I'm drowning in my own self-loathing,
It's like a permanent set of clothing,
I can't get away from me,
So someone, help me, help me,

I've been reaching for a hand to pull me out for so long,
I'll just keep it hanging here, until I've had enough,
Lonely as the last of their own species,
No one else like me, I guarantee this freely,
Haunted by my childhood, and the demon that possess it,
Caught up in my own head, and all of it's dumb ****,
I can't see two steps ahead, sometimes I can't even see one,
God whoever made me, I hope they were having fun,
To make my pathetic existence worth something at least,
Even if just a stain on some old *** sheets,

So someone help me, help me live,
Because it can't always be like like this,
I'm drowning in my own self-loathing,
It's like a permanent set of clothing,
I can't get away from me,
So someone, help me, help me.
Valarola Nikola
Written by
Valarola Nikola  33/F/New York
(33/F/New York)   
856
 
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