I ******* up...again
I always ***** up.
I can never do anything the way i want to
I am so angry at myself.

I hate these thoughts
I want to love myself
But i can't help but hate myself

These demons are always haunting my mind
I try to have good thoughts; positive thoughts
But like the pessimist i am, i think about the bad

Like a trick candle
when i think i have snuffed the demons out,
When i am starting to love myself again
They come back whispering unwanted thoughts
And then i spiral
And i think about all the faces that pity me

I am being too ******* myself, I know
And yet despite this
I still feel the lonely ache
As i wonder why success is always in front of me
But out of reach
Like a forbidden fruit I can never have.