Alice Green’s Renault was seen parked in Lovers’ Lane,
With steamed up windows, rocking gently in the rain.
Now her husband wants a divorce,
And bad news rides a fast horse…

…In the unlikely shape of Kate Brown,
An unattractive woman with a soviet frown,
A fertile mole but otherwise downpour hair,
And a saxon graveyard in need of some dental care.

On the edge of her ottoman my mother’s all ears,
As Kate reassures her by confirming her worst fears,
Of how he had the snip when he was forty-two,
And how Alice’s little friend is three months overdue.
And they shake their heads in unison and say it’s such a shame,
That the carrier-bag-carrying Kate doesn’t yet know the father’s name.

And later I help Kate take her shopping home,
Her husband works in London and during the week she’s on her own,
And digging up a smile she offers me a drink,
On tiptoes to the dusty glasses on the shelf above the sink,
As my fingers slide around her yoghurt coloured throat,
Then that glint of recognition between weasel and stoat.
And she’s screaming ‘Harder!’ on the sofa with both feet up in the air,
Forgetting her Facebook streaming webcam with its settings set to ‘Share’.