I don’t blame you

I don’t blame you for being insecure
I don’t blame you for falling in love with someone incapable of loving you in return
I don’t even blame you for projecting your problems onto me
I understand that sometimes it’s easier to blame
our mistakes
our problems
on the people closest to us
I don’t blame you

I don’t blame you for our friendship falling apart
I don’t blame you for blocking me on every social media imaginable
I don’t even blame you for not speaking to me
I understand that we just weren’t
good
suitable  
for each other anymore
I don’t blame you

But I do blame you

I blame you for insulting me behind my back
I blame you for not being there when I needed you
I blame you for thinking you were the only protagonist in this story
and I was just a side character

I wish you knew how much I miss you
I wish you knew that for some
sick
twisted
insane
reason I don’t hate you
I wish you knew that I would still give you the shirt off my back
if shivers racked your body
Travel across the country
if you need something as simple as a hug
Cut my own heart out
if yours was broken

But I blame you

I blame you
Because I understand
and I wish this wasn’t the case
That you wouldn’t do the same

So,
I blame you