This is the hardest thing
For me to say
Harder still to have gone through
The Whole ordeal

I have COPD on oxygen
Walk with a cane
surgery set my 2nd total knee replacement

DOMESTIC ABUSE
Physical violence
Elderly abuse   
It happens to others
not me

My ***** secret
Of blame and shame
It’s my fault
if I wouldn’t have
done this or that
It wouldn’t have happened
If only

I  deserved it
Why is the negative stuff
easier to believe

My adult daughter
My only child
Love of my life
Hit me,hurt me
Beat me up
She went for my lungs punching
My knee so I couldn’t walk

Cold and calculated then because
Inadvertently scratched her
Trying to get her off of my chest
I couldn’t breath

Stunned by the scratch
She went to see what I had done
Came out with a curling iron
Beat me with it until the
medal Part broke off
on my legs and knees

She Calling the police because she had a mark
I begged her to put the phone down
I told her "you don’t think I have marks"
She wanted me to suffer in jail
With no medications

Subsequently she was arrested
Assalt with a weapon
In the end
She will blame It all on me
I’m Still trying to wrap my head
Around what happened

I’m stunned
To see  deep dark hatred
In the eyes

Of my only child
My loved one
Hatred me enough to
Get on top of me punching me
In my chest
I couldn’t breath

I have cuts and bruises  
That will fade
But most importantly
Harder still is the realization
I am not safe
around her
I’m so devastated

After reflection, contemplation
I believe
It’s stems from money
I received an inheritance
She thinks , She is entitled

When money was no longer
Forthcoming
Anger,hatred was unleashed
From the pit of hell

The flood of other events
Of bullying ,aggressive behavior
Verbal and physical
Her whole life
Came to mind

I blocked it all out
Until it was pointed out to me
I have to accept
My part in all this
I let her escape the consequences of her youth
I created a monster
With my good intentions
No one is perfect
Children do not come with an instruction manual

That being said
I did not raise her to be disrespectful
To lie,cheer, steel
Break the Ten Commandments

Although she lives a few hours away
I’m still afraid
I hate feeling helpless, weak

I dream she is
Standing over me
With a knife
Wanting to **** me

Then I wake up
I’m not coping
I need help

I’m morning the loss of
my only child
Who grew willful and wild
I can NEVER be safe around her

This realization
Has me in effect
Morning the loss
of our Relationship
Of my only child

The grandchildren
Have been a part of my life
A third parent at times
I have very strong connections
With each of them

I will not
Let her use them as pons
In her games
Hostages against me
It stops now

Her  jealousy
Loathing, dispise of me
Has only deepened through her life
I’m the reason for every bad thing that happens
No matter if I’m around or not