some days it's easy to feel good
like I'm starting fresh, starting over, starting a new
the feeling of freedom washes over me and I am born all over again
but just as quickly as those electric feelings start,
they end
and I am left with an emptiness in my stomach
an irreplaceable longing for love

when I start to think how I'm back to nothing
I swell up with panic and excitement all at once
like a whirlwind of emotion
wrecklessly tossed into one tiny person

I want to love myself more than anyone else
I give my all to others and never to me who deserves that kind of compassion also
so much so that I don't feel complete without belonging to someone

I forget that I wasn't always two people
I used to just be me
navigating my life on my own time
with no regard for anyone but myself
and I remember feeling so happy about that then
that I don't understand why I can't find that happiness in my solitude now

inside of me I have always carried all I ever needed
I have just forgotten how to pull out those pieces to put my heart back in place
.