i think im coming to terms
with the thought of not having you.
as mine,
with me,
in my arms,
against me.
i can say i have moved on.
that the buoy you left
in the river of my memories,
the ripples of your smile and laugh,
they no longer touch my shores.
i can say this all i want.
it would be a lie.
i know this because the thought of you
with anyone else
makes me feel
sick