I think my problem arises from a chaotic childhood.
No, I'm not saying it was traumatic but
I learned at a young age that I didn't belong anywhere
And I think the problem with my relationships today
Is that I felt that being lonely so long,
And finding someone like him
who wanted me dearly
And wants me still
instilled in me a will to never be alone again.
But it seems, it comes all too natural to me.
My problem is that I want to be with someone.
I want to belong to someone.
I want to be the person that someone comes home to...
Maybe that's just my fatal flaw?
That being so alone even in a house I used to call home
No four walls feel quite right
No pair of arms reach the core of me
I guess I've made a bed and begun to live
In the halfway house of sin
Making my way to strangers beds to see which one will be strong enough to wed
But sadly that's not the point of one-night stands.
That once the deed is done we follow the path of the walk of shame
Carrying our heels and dragging our dignity down a road to what we supposedly call home.
Not all the girls along the road are hoes some are simply misguided fools.
Such as I, when I was kicked from a bed after laying by his side
I had a little too much to drink and stumbled my way home, to face the mirror which hung on my door like a veil
To face a friend with a past like mine
To tell her all just to be told I was an idiot.
It's just my flaw
That I fall for words instead of actions it will surely be my fall
For no amount of painted skin or blanketed lies will stop me from adopting another vice to add to my collection.
Drugs, alcohol, cigarettes and *** my god I've become such a mess.
The lonely girls are always easy targets.
You bribe them with drinking or drugs and a promise of a passion filled kiss to soothe the raging monster inside them,
Now you have them at your mercy.
Eventually, they go numb and forget that they are lonely.
They forget that they want to belong to someone
That they want to create a home for someone
And the four walls of different rooms become sanctuary maybe a night or two,
As this turned nomadic soul turns to her vices
And waits for the one night stand that tells her to stay