this feeling
pertaining to you
is peculiar.

i know you must be gentle.
i feel it in the pit of my stomach.

i'll be in the background
and waiting for you to say hi.

hourglass,
what are you doing here?
my mouth is chalky white
and wooden beams block my sight.
why do you try so hard
to rip me from the pages
of my notebook?
let me write in peace!
how else will this madness leave me?
it's no easy feat to run you away
but i am desperate for this.
if i let you haunt me,
i have lost all time.

claim my starry soul
until it fades away.
wear my heart in strings
until i snap and break.
fly away with wings i gave
fly into the cliffside
and into the cliffside cave.
break apart my geodes
i hold beauty inside,
fill me with your all
and i'll give you
my most contented
sigh.

of course it's painful,
watching him dance
with another star,
but i'm content
watching from afar.

i promise i'm okay,
though i know i'm hurt.
i like smiling when i think of him
even if it makes my chest contract too.
i was the one pushing my raft out at sea
and hoping he'd be the one to reel me back to land.

i'd consider myself less foolish
this time around.

i promise i'm okay.
all i need is chocolate ice cream
and a sad movie
and the pain will ebb.

a toast!
to the brave cowards;
for they know true courage in a lion's den, lined with clouds.

a toast!
to the nonstop criers;
for they know true sorrow and the effort it takes to grieve.

a toast!
to the ones who fear the world;
for they know it isn't unfounded, but still try to walk with the waves.

a toast!
to the desolate landscaped;
for they know they'll grow flowers again in their bare deserts.

a toast!
to all of us,
because we've seen another day.

you know,
i should probably give you up now.
it's just a game of rings and roses;
i fall deeper into your ocean eyes
and i don't know when i'll hit the pavement.
blue is my favorite color,
but only when it's on you.
love is my favorite feeling,
but only if it's you.
the seaside is my favorite place,
but only if i'm with you.

and maybe i should give you up.
because i'm dragging us both down.

everything is pausing
hesitating
cautiously.

when will we give this game up?
this game of pride and greed.
throw your walls down
and break down theirs.

don't wave goodbye
to a chance you never grasped.