brown born and alive again
the dirt hums as nature shifts
tectonic lifts and cease pulling
everything within me tips
as my head nods to his musings

feelings bubbling up
can life stop being confusing
the terror in our meeting
as your eyes capture my soul
the taste of lemon in my mouth
too many seeds to plant
so I spit them out
and watch them fly
as far as they can go
expanding horizions daily
who knows how big they'll grow
I'll lay back and lay out
put my heart on display
but not hand it out

poppies growing in the cracks
that create when we meet
face to face, then back up
taking distance
reminiscing on the missing
that's caused by all that is missing
as you light the spark within my heart
reviving the passion I thought was unlisted
but now it's here and it's knocking, annoyingly persistent
if you get my jist and find that list, could you pen me in?

clear the page and clean the sheets
turn the clock and blow the roof down
tell me it's now without words

to be a human
is to hide
but I'm a creature
who soaks in light

feeling light
as I sit in the memories
finding the peace within them
and setting aside what doesn't serve me

the swerve in me
where I didn't think there was
deserving in me
has calmed to a sway
as clouds part open
as my perspective shifts
as spirits lift up
and far out of me

a single soul to dwell within
this vessel of mine in which I can hide
only within the mind, my thoughts
everything within my eyes, my heart

full moon tonight
sky in my eyes
shadows are my sight
with blurry eyes
I squint to see
and bask in light

the deep sea
in your gaze
a glance
casting bait

drawn in
yet not cornered
strapped in
yet still free

I've been caught in,
somewhat lost in,
a moment of longing
for the next moment
that we meet.

full moon in your eyes,
my heart
a wolf,
howling.

I grow inside
turned outward
peeled back
savage
flaming
tender

emotional ******
hearts blend to render
me weak to my hearts prayers
my layers wound tight
entangled with fright
of what's right
if it's just a thought
reality it's not
but the thoughts still tickle
tingle
down my spine
into my *****
throbbing
from inside the mind

what's this I find?
my shadow basking in it's pleasures
as I sit and sip my coffee
smoke my spliff
play the same old riff
inhaling the impaling
that plays out in my mind
the same old tune
we played in june
only this time it's me thinking ***** things
feeling guilty that you're not a part of my fantasies
feeling grateful that you're a part of my reality
unsure where you fit
if you fit, and if you feel nice inside of me.

I'm relearning connection
With everything I've got:
My light
My love
And
My words

Holding my breath
Afraid to wake you
The words forming in my soul
Are woven to shake you

Uncomfortably quilted
Is the paradox of my hearts mending
Tectonic shifts
The impact of bending

The impact of coming together
While needing to look inward
Volcanic activity, atomic weather
My passion is lava propelling forward

From blue, to green, to red, to black
There's destruction in this healing
As these scars begin their searing

As winter meets its end
I meet myself at the beginning
It's taken time to approach and mend
Where rejection, first, was winning

My inner child is healing
While my pain is fully felt
I let my tears flow down
Heart healing as it melts

Sickness takes it's hold
Of my physical form
They said this soul was old
When I had just been born

The grief of loss
When I looked to her
She walked away
Door shut in my face

The grief of rejection
When he spoke his hurt
Those words were painful poison
Destroying all my worth

No parents to love
Or be loved by
I was only a child
But I wanted to die

Astral projection
My best friend was God
I begged to go back
But my journey, that was not

So I sit here and write
Allowing myself to cry
I hold myself softly
I'm getting ready to fly

Rediscovering what's to love
Realizing that I am enough
My strength is building slowly
Although the journey has been rough

My spirit is being guided
To find what hurts and pull it out
To spill all of my secrets
And remove my heart of doubt

There's been a drought
Long lasting
That I have finally shaken free
Today I walk in gratitude for all who have blessed me

Alone, in my tragedy
The wallowing that ensued
I walked away from all of you
And directly to my doom

I led myself astray
Because of the pain I could not face
At this point in time, I feel it's safe to say
I've found my way and I'm in a different place

I look around and here you are
Loving me as I am
So thank you from the very core of me
For loving me as I am