Make babies, not by-products of ***.

There are parts

of mine

that are

far from fine,

I hide them well

behind

a mask so pretty

concealing an ugly mind,

dark-dingy corners

where

I don't let in the

Sun's glare,

filthy and messy

with litters from past

devilish and doomed

been from the very start,

I'm twisted

inside-out

cold and unlovable

without a doubt.

But I keep

all this

to myself

like a kiss,

that's too *****

to share

like a secret

I bear

&

add

layer

after

layer

burying these

demons and evils

deeper and deeper

calming the

impending upheavals.

we are a bunch of broken souls

that cry for their unfulfilled goals

struggling and suffering

burning and buffering

from birth to death

a complete circle of breath

we live only to die tomorrow

we're happy only to feel sorrow

so why come into this world

when there's nothing we can do

to make it a better place for me and you

and waste a chaste life in haste

for our species will end

and come Darwin's fitter

till then we'll blend

in this world of gold and glitter

i think of you in a way
that i am not supposed to
with myself i play
while the thoughts of you flood
my head- all day long
and now those songs
that are about steam and ***
are making pretty much sense

what is it if not attraction?
is craving your love, more than mere transaction?

because i want to make-out
under the starry sky and cuddly clouds
but then leave it there
somewhere
nobody will ever know of us
or about this hour of oxytocin rush

you don't look at me ever
and maybe belong to another
and that's why all i do is write
poems that you'll never read
so whatever this is, i try to fight

you too aren't worth the effort
like no guy was
but all i do is blurt
words that mean nothing to you
why is it this sad always
why is this the case
i wish i could simply be a machine
running on gasoline
with no feelings or desires
keeping myself away from liars

tissue paper

everyday

I

betray

myself

this

way

by

trying

to

portray

­that

everything's

okay

You cut me

so deep

even stitches

couldn't seal

and now

words bleed

from wounds

that can't heal.

i don't know
what's making me show
my screen glow
in this dark dark room
where all i have is gloom
i have everything
yet nothing at all
so many numbers
but none that i could call
too many blessing to count
yet so much self doubt
my dad's playing his good old songs
my mum's watching her series
yet here i've been sitting for so long
that my own head seems eerie
it's pouring out
the silence too loud
i miss a friend i had
his memories making me sad
there's none so bold
to ever fall for me
i've been told
i'm pretty
yet the irony
that none think i'm worth
i too curse my birth
i also miss my sister
her death gave my soul blisters
that still bleed and will never heal
i don't want to feel
just an adrenaline rush
a sext here; there a crush
nothing permanent
nothing to cement
just give me an hour i crave
i promise, after that i'll behave

He said- "You are a rose,
Pretty to look at; But hurts when close.

I told him he was a cactus,
Words couldn't describe him; So I used my canvas.

And the desert I painted could never,
Grow both of us together!

IF YOU CAN'T STAND MY UGLY;
YOU DON'T DESERVE MY BEAUTY.

I don't know
where did I
go wrong
or lie
why
did you leave
and what made you
believe
that I betrayed
when it was my life
I layed
for your eyes to see
that I'm not like any
but you were
like all
promising timers
while stopping our calls
happily choosing
a life without
my dullness my brokenness
my issues my doubts
you did not trust me
enough
but you took me for someone
who wasn't tough
so I write this verse
last blessing last curse
4 years of
confusion and control
calculatitive goals
I tell you this
I don't miss
you or your bookshelf-self
untitled ice-cube bonds
or anything else
our talks our walks
our texts our interests
my dull your bright
your voice my fight
my guilt my pride
your scars you hide.

He asked me- "Why are you still a ******?
I smiled and said- "I'm good at DIY"
.
..
...

l o v e

i s

a

l i e

&

l i e s

a r e

l o v e l y

trippin' in tipsy seas
smile i at the sky
being me, being free
my wings spread to fly
taking off away from home
i go where my heart roams
not buzzed because of *****
i'm just letting a little loose

dead eyes
don't tell lies
for they once survived
in the light they thrived
only to be enclosed
in the the darkness enfold
.
.
.
their tears have dried
for they've cried
a sea so stormily silent
leaving rivulets so violent
that now stand still
waiting for the ****
.
.
.
all good things come to an end
so why do we pretend
that this happy moment will last
when our past shall cast
shadows on our present
waning our full moon to a crescent

in all these crowds

i wander my way

looking for things

that'll help me stay

for everything's back

to being gray

now that the sun's hidden

it's dusk after the day

as the darkness descesnds

my demons come to play

and i'm left alone

to type away what i had to say

i no longer believe

that everything's going to be okay

so i'm learning to live

happily in my own dismay

for the drops will change

everytime it'll rain

i won't do the same

over and over again

i know i ain't normal

so i accept i'm not sane

i remember who i am

-the prettiest product of pain

scar-adorned
rightfully wronged
roughly toughened
a woman who's strong
to none do i belong
walked down the aisle
shed blood
a cold smile
after the tear flood
life's hard
like a shard
slowly kills
everything stills
what remains
are mere names
so think
let it sink
for no man's worth
so justify
your birth on earth

i saw him fall for someone who wasn't me,
yet i wonder why everyone but him couldn't see?
so he found what i had discovered,
and today i sit back in my chair with my heart uncovered,
nothing like love can ever exist,
because love is nothing more than a chemicals' twist!

often wonder i

what is it about the bad guys

that draws me in

tempting me to sin

for he'll break my heart

know this i from the very start

yet i crave his fractured feelings

that can't be fixed by healing

so i love him with all i am

to the lion i become the lamb

only to be devoured by him

and claimed from limb to limb

in his arms

away from the harms

only to be destroyed in his cocoon

for falling for him isn't merely a boon

but a bane wrapped in pain

i willingly gain

again and again

because he is a beautifully broken man

who'd never been part of my life's plan

so deep do i peep

to find stars in his scars

and a love so profound

to him I stay forever bound


-----★☆★☆★☆-----

i wish i could love like the sun
truly and wholeheartedly
for he burns for the one and only one
who shall never be his devotedly
she bears children he didn't make
yet he sets his life for them
only to rise again and take
a father's role from the sky's hem
he shines his light so that she can thrive
a love so profound that it hurts
because he'll give his all and survive
watching her from the outskirts
and one day when he'll be old and gray
he'll be close to her yet far away

you know i like you, but you don't
for this i shouldn't blame you & i won't
i have never liked someone enough
to give up being tough
but you changed this for me
made me feel what it means to be free
i have opened up my heart here
letting go of all my fears
waiting for a single sign
that one acknowledgement line
but nothing comes through
i know i am making this difficult for you
i should take what's left of my pride and leave
i would if i could, me should you believe

i don't know what's stopping me
but i just can't give up without a fight
but doing this on repeat
is diminishing my already dull light
before you i used to pride myself
how i don't let guys affect my life
never wanted to be with anyone
because of my own emotional rife
yet here i am vulnerable and weak
in your eyes maybe i'm a freak
but i am grateful for going through this
learning what it means to miss
someone i never had
now has the power to make me sad

i have spoken too much, haven't i
but how can i withdraw without a try
you hurt me and you don't even know
i am simply reaping what i'd sown

and even if

i pour one full

bottle of ink

and cover all

these sheets

still there'll be

feelings left

for my broken

heart to bleed

i
always
knew
that
i
wasn't
attractive;
but
these
days
i'm
learni­ng
that
i'm
repulsive
too

there are a thousand words
i want to say to you
but none will ever be heard
just in my poems be viewed

when's your birthday
what do you like to play
where would you like to go
you like things fast or slow
your favourite color's black
what's this one thing you lack
what makes you tick
what makes you sick
best day you ever had
when was the last time you were sad
what's your greatest fear
do you get "laughter tears"
movies you watch
whiskey or scotch
the songs you sing
what's your thing
worst memory you made
all your dull-bright shades

you're beautiful
just the way you are
your happy smile
and your hidden scars

She fades

away

a little

each day

regretting

the way

she caused

her own

decay.

if you want something
they say get it
what if i want it all?
from sunrise to fall
a galaxy and infinite stars
to set the ****** bar
go beyond and then a little more
to find out
the after and everything before
who was i
and what am i going to be
or a simple species in between
where am i and where will i go
is this the first chapter
or the last show?

from miles away your eyes see
a girl who's really pretty

but when she let's you close
let's you take her hand and hold

you start to notice the flaws
and realise,
-the serenity was simply chaos

and you are repulsed by her reality,
"your admiration in all its fragility"

and that breaks her heart
when you hate her other parts

parts that she hid from the world
but chose to show you and only you.

why do people leave
when they get to know her, ask you i?
that only strengthens her belief
that it will always be the glittery gold that satisfies

i don't want to feel

anything for anyone

so that i can heal

and be fooled by none

caring makes me weak

so i want to be bleak

again

angered by my pain

insane

in chains

for letting myself free

shattered my broken soul

painting my heart as black as coal

so now i know

what these emotions cost

making me feel oh so low

such that

no love in me is left to be lost