somehow I missed it
how it was written between the way
your lips curved around my name
and those small touches barely there

three simple words, too great to say
I love you

somehow I missed it
how it was always there
when you asked how my day was
and believed in me when I didn't

three simple words, too great to say
I love you

I am still afraid
to look you in the eyes
I know it has been months
and I tell myself, I tell everyone

the hurt in my heart is fading
the scars on my heart are only skin deep

but I am still afraid
to look you in the eyes
and remove the walls I built up
because I know you will see

the hurt lingering in my eyes
the pain I try to hide behind my smile

and I am still afraid
to look you in the eyes
because I might find out
that you don't care anymore

it's the end of the year
when I ask if you would change anything
of what you have gone through
and you laugh with a little shake of your shoulder

saying that you learn your greatest lessons
when you hike through the muddy waters
and you know how to breathe
only when you realize no fear can hold you back

that you still remain alive
after your heart has been torn apart
broken piece by piece at a time
by those who you loved

that you learn your worth
only when you ask people to stay
and watch who walk away
knowing that you now have to give up on them

Some mornings you wake up
the ground beneath you shaking
and you are afraid,
to face the day standing,
to carry the weight of sorrow once more.

Some mornings you wake up
the world around you crumbling
and you are afraid,
to face the people who hurt you,
to brave a new hope when all has been broken.

Some mornings you wake up
the world a deep, thick fog
and you are afraid,
to face your fears yet again,
to try to break free of the chains you can't see.

And yet
these are only some of the mornings,
washed over with gray
and sometimes, with grief or shame.
Not all mornings are like these.

Some mornings you wake up
the light breaking through the darkness,
and there is no fear,
for chains cannot hold you down
and hope can never be conquered.

I don't know much,
but I can tell you what "whole" looks like.
I've seen it stumble forward
with weary eyes and tired hands.
Come close,
I will hand you a mirror
and tell you to look carefully.
Can you not hear the galaxies
beneath your skin?
They paint in whispers
that even oceans cannot grasp.
I know it took a hurricane and two floods,
but there is soil in your ribcage;
your scars told me so.
Don't mind them though,
they're just reminders
that you love harder than anyone else.
I know you might feel hollow,
but there is a reason your heart
has lofted ceilings.
Never forget how you fought
for all that space.
Look carefully.
These gray skies inside your lungs
are simply a canvas,
and you rain so beautifully.
Oh darling,
you rain so beautifully.

in the silence of a fire burning bright
the missing beat of a heart
how frost can take over a world so alive
and all that is can fall apart

like summer rain pouring over bittersweet love
streaming down a soul these tears roam
and there was never a question
whether the fall would take home

but what I was waiting for
was the winter of my heart

Through the summer breeze
and the warmth of the sun blazing gold,
the shining creation would come to life.

Through the leaves changing colors
and the crispness of the autumn mornings,
the world would slowly quiet down.

Through the cold air turning fingers numb
and snow falling like an endless cloud,
the old things would come to an end.

Through the broken ground defrosting
and soft beacons of light coming through,
the new life would take hold of hearts.

I watched the seasons change,
I watched the seasons remain.
I grasped the wonder of God's grace:
never alone though never the same.