all around me are couples,
walk around,
frightened and clinging
to each other
clowns jumping out,
chain saws screeching on

paralyzed in fear
crying in extreme anger
everything in me
screams to have control
yet I keep

failing

am nothing
yet I feel everything
how do I cope

timers keep going off
time is running out
there is no time

im going crazy
somebody help
before the time runs out

the smoke in my lungs,
tears in my eyes,
he is the break in my heart
I am suffocating;

Time.

he squeezes,
he grips,
demands, limits,
leaves no survivors;

Time.

don't know what to feel
hate you; love you
lost in the confusion

I get what I want
yet I'm left
heartBroken
when you leave

dynamic is changing
you no longer chase me,
was it only ever a hope
for More?

you hurt me
but I hurt me too
for trusting so
easily

is it this loss,
the loss of her
or is it something else

constantly eating, dreaming.
looking.
waiting, searching.
failing.

people seem to find that which they look.
I do not.

am I alone in my antsy
will my leg ever stop shaking,
my heart stop looking?
will I ever be satisfied?

running out of time
for what?
love, life,
everything

some would say my life
just started
I disagree
more like it feels like
it is only
ending

I know its cringe,
just let me be;
I know im cringe,
its my identity