I've been feeling so alone, I've been replaying her story to fill in the empty spaces. I'd bring her home, then take her out to a few places. I will replay her story to see her smile. I'm daydreaming of her again. I know I shouldn't, but I'll leave my doors open. She can call, she can show up, she can have my attention, hell she could possibly have it all. All I want is the be the cause of her smile.

If I had a rose returned from every girl I attempt to talk too, I believe my hand would be full of scars. I guess I have a odd face with a slight attitude. Sorry sweets I don't trust easy I've been alone since I was about 22. Not like I'm the only one talking to you. I went from being first in line and used to play varsity. Seems like I'm now benched and became a ******* alternate.
***** the difference, I'm still the best anyone can offer. Who cares who's hotter? At least I know where my loyalty falls and I know where her words lie.
I throw salt at the ghost when they avoid saying good bye.

I felt a good feeling surrounding me.
Everyone was just laughing, smiling, and dancing.
I've wondered how many people were here to just escape.
I didn't think too much, I've had a few to drink and some really good food to eat.
I'm genuinely happy in this moment.
If I can rewind time I'd come back for a minute to just hold that moment.
The sky had beautiful clouds, the music was beautiful and loud. Genuinely happy to be a part of this crowd.

She began asking....why am I so heavy to carry? I've got a few answers and a dozen of secrets I've had to burry. Her mistakes began holding her hostage, under these leaves I've raked and bagged some new escape strategies. Darling not everyone is as bad as they seem. At least the people you dislike are honest about one thing.
(Judgement)
Depression and trauma is all the weight you've carried, in agony I've seen you walk these mountains but the views always great. If only you began to noticed the strength and knowledge you gained. I'd always be ready to lift you off your feet so you wouldn't feel so heavy.

Avoiding the feeling of being under water. But in I'm on my feet and I'm perfectly grounded but I'm still drowning.
My plans kept breaking.
Hopes and dreams seem so distant.
Clouds fog my surroundings, misty out, and I'm cold I began coughing. I warm beverage but I'm still cold. Some tunes to put my tears at ease in this barely dim lit room.
I long for attention but I don't bring any home with me.

I've got these dark spots, breaking the walls and all my locks. I've got these dark thoughts, with a dark cloud chilling on top. Thought about death and even self destructive intentions. If only you can watch the **** I imagine. My heart told me to go to bed, but I chose to drown in my head. Imagine drinking to feel alive, but happiness began to be deprived. I can see myself go up just to fall deeper down. I'd put out the flames with gasoline, drown under water to avoid my scream. Talking and daydreaming of love finding me. But like Nemo I'm lost and my dark thoughts put me far and I can't be found. I'll keep myself in a isolated box, ship myself away so you can't imagine these dark thoughts. Drink pure glass and rocks. A sharp rough forced entry. Swallow that **** with a barbed wire wrapped around me. What the ***** going on with me? Now I smile at the thought of being violent, I cry when a beautiful gesture caused these thoughts to be so silent. Maybe I shouldn't be alone when I get these dark thoughts.

You've claimed to be hopeless
I've got faith in you and I wish for you to stay focused
The storms here on purpose
You're not worthless
It's just that negative debt
Sadness and trauma ready to collect
But you've got my love yet
I'll redirect you until you've rejoice banging out of your chest.
Never been perfect, I've always been the opposite. But I'm down to fight til I've got nothing left. Me, myself, and I! I've always been that great guy. With no one hardly by my side. Hardly a close half part of me, but I've learned that peace comes violently. It's all in your head, just don't make yourself a regret. Sometimes the brightest of lights go dim.