There's a violence
amidst the white noise
Open sky
white, vast, and daunting
My eyes are shut and I can no longer
feel your presence

There is a loss of god
in my soul, and an empty
void which only expands
the more I fill
it

The nights melt into
the days like candle wax
and I'm dripping, dripping, dripping
melting, I am melting

Violence amidst the silence
as I seek the long, winded road
leading nowhere in particular

I filled in my lungs with cigarette smoke
Then bathed my body with water; it's cold
I closed my eyes, and I heard my self broke
With walls breaking down and tears I can't hold
Whispers came and they had bothered me then
Matched with headache and undying flu
Funny how I felt like caged in a den
A soul behind an eye none can see through
So I took a blade and I nursed my burns
Carved out shapes that looked like comets and stars
The blade skidding in every twist and turns
To be called art when they turn into scars


But right now I am wishing myself dead
To get a pistol and blow up my head

Break my bones;
cut my throat.
Pull me open,
learn the ropes.

Breath me in;
taste the fear.
Shank my skin;
stand and cheer.

Kick my head;
let me bleed.
Unbolt my veins;
enjoy the read.

Gouge my eyes;
punch my face.
Wrap me up
in your embrace.

like water
I poured myself into her until she was overflowing at the brim

like reinforced steel
I bridged my heart to hers and welded myself to her soul

like the sun
I filled myself with light to cover her darkness

like a blanket
I shielded her from the harsh world underneath the covers

like magnets
I orbited her aura until we inevitably collided

like a seed
I felt myself growing up from her

Then, like an idiot
I could tell she felt nothing.