Come weep
Like a willow
Come mourn
As a widow
Come wallow
In hollowed
Out parts of my whole
Come expose
Why I sold
All that’s left
Of my soul
Come beseech
Me to linger
A shadow,
A stain
Come release
Me to bring her
Back home
From the grave

Embrace me
My last never bloom
For tomorrow
Uncertainty looms
On the spindles of sorrow
And watching it sow
Needle points
Of my dread
Would just sooner unravel
And lay bare the thread
Of not ready
To let you
Ignore what you read
And respond with
A silence
From which I once fled
But to wed
Is forgetting
Regret
Intersected
Us here at the crossroads
Of destiny
Bested
For I wasn’t made
To be anyone’s
End
But to fade
In what fate
At its best
Can’t intend

Did you come here to bask
In the thralls of your hubris
Or seek inspiration
For what it
Illumines
And true to its
Slightly
Unnaturalized
State
Did you find
To your liking
It’s in
Personate?

Just tallies
On a census
Still consenting
To a senseless
Lack of conscience
Still ensconced in
An archaic
Hyper tension
Knocking on the door
Extorted
Public swayed
To go to war
And on display
The Desert Storming
Makes conforming
Dying for
The worthy cause
Of their enrichment
Your enlistment,
Your expense
And yet
This peaceful
Demonstration
Is their right
To self-defense

Just write
The beginning
Envisioning
Sagas
Conceptualize war
Like you’re in
The Bahamas
Obamas
Have come and gone
Kennedies
End
And the Clintons’
Convictions
Don’t go to my head
Any more
Than the opposite side’s
Can attest
I just run the gamut
Of their standardized test

Late
When I think of you
Solely
In writing
And solemn
Reflect on what
Causes us fighting
Goodnight
After night
Against odds
We prevail
Against God’s
Predetermined
We’re destined
To fail

Original
When was it ever
Creation?
Surreal
It has never
Been
Civilization
Just homogeneity
Acculturation
Collective,
Procrustean
Reeducation
No self-aware
Movement
No choice
Occupation
Just merrily
Life is but
Assimilation

Been infallible
Idols
And I dole out
Judgment
Save all of the punishment
For my repugnant
Begrudging
Bewildered
Beleaguered
Bedeviled
Form-fated
To fade
Disappearing
Disheveled
Upon revelations
That I do not make it
Don’t tell her I love her
And through my heart stake it
And take with me
Only the burden
Of buried
Across
The flow souls
Like a river
I’m ferried
For there we
Once were
Once contained
Me and her
And it murmurs
Its resonance
Lulls its allure
Unobscured
In translation
That there is no sacred
No vow
More profound
Than in darknesses
Naked
Admitting
Confessing
Professing
Our faults
Our disgraces
Our destiny
Meant to be
What this exalts

It’s like
You get close to it
Make the most
Boast of it
Gloat prematurely
Expecting a raise
But demote insecurely
Your capital gain
You’re worth less
In the game
And identify solely
With figures
Of fame
But attain
Ultimately
No dividends paid
Just a diffident
Dissonance
Caught in the rain
Just an incident
Waiting to happen
In shame
And of innocence
Soaking in sin
Your soul stained
And of fortunes untold
For blood sold
You are blamed
Until all you can do
Cut your losses
And run
Come to terms
With the zeroes and ones
You’ve become

Go on
Not noticing
Stare
Out of focusing
Dare
To be barely
Apparently
There
Just remain
In your head
In your zone
Unaware

It’s ok
We are only
Mere humans
Behaving
We can’t always care
What the others
Are saying
Or doing
What they
Must prioritize
Paying
For who they present
To the world

On displaying

Cast my dominions
To somber
Oblivions
Long to return
To macabre  
Conditions
My patience
Is wearing thin
Yet I keep
Waiting
But counting the seconds
Is so
Aggravating
When you’ve made your peace
Suspend your
Disbelief
Just a little bit longer
You made it
Attained it
A life once elusive
Now you must sustain it
Without overcoming
Your darkest desires
In any way
Sating
Their grave of empires

Repression
Of urge
To be free
Be incontinent,
Unreserved,
Unbridled
Me
But you don’t want to see it
Can’t understand
Anger
When I express pain
You assume
You’re in danger
A stranger
It’s made me
To put on the smile
Pretend
I intend
To be calm for awhile
That I do not seethe
With the need
To defile
The idols,
Injustice,
Hypocrisy,
Greed
And the temples
They’ve built
And the laws
They’ve decreed
So I leave it to you
To decide
What I do
Either storm out in rage
And let madness ensue
Or eschew
From another miscast
Make a scene
Featuring
My hostility’s
Daily routine

Already in us
The lifespan
Diminished
Dominion
Of domino theorists
Unfinished
With business abroad
And the world market
Over
Still pumping
And dumping
Their waste
Down our throat holes
And goes into veins
A cocktail
Of their chokeholds
And cold
As the pulse grows
More soullessly
Blood flows
The poisoned
Polluted
Precluded
Provision
Nutrition
Omission
Produces
Submission
And we are but lab rats
Experiments
Testing
Their chemical
Compounds
Of boundless
Ingesting

I
Am but one
Tiny speck
Of the nothingness
Teeming
Within
This consumerist
Vast abyss
Classist rift
Stacking the odds
In my favor
Ensuring the wages
I cravingly
Savor
Unwavering
Taking
My share of the spoils
Then centralize
All the essential
Term oils
With limitless
Terms
To define
The decider
The lion,
The tiger,
The eagle
Empire

Just wanted to orbit you
Like you do
Moving through
Infinite space ways
Between where I drift
Non-exist
As I sift
Through a stream of diversions
A flood of submersions
My blood
On your drug
As I shrug off
Incursions
And versions of me
Cease to be
Unfamiliar
When one
Gravitates
To his need
To fulfill her

I’m the outsider left
In the darkness
Bereft
For too long
As I watched them all
Toil in squalor
Imagining
What they would do
For a dollar
There has to be more
Than my place on the earth
But to fight for it
Die for it
See her give birth
Was the land that they claimed
To its roots
Were engrained…
And I am the Communist
Seed
That they trained

What have we come to
When traitors can lead
When corrupt,
Vile vermin
Determine
Who breeds
Can it be
Only me
Who can see
It’s so blatant
So obviously
Just a demagogue
Racist  
A ******
Effacing
Most sacred
Tradition
Obsequious
Supplicants
Cowed to submission
So vow
As if spouses
To sheepishly serve
To uphold
Anti-heroes
You feel you deserve
But I bow
To no power
Mad
Impotent
Infant
A spoiled princeling
Who reveals in an instant
His true color
Red
In the face
With hot air
A buffoonish balloon
He could say it’s the sun
When it’s clearly the moon
But these doomed
Imbeciles
Will have not
But delusion
Defending their rights
In his new
Constitution

Ashamed
That I get this way
Drunken disgrace
Run my stupid mouth off
And forsake your embrace
As if any discordant rifts
Forming between,
Could make me start questioning
What your love means
To me,
Don’t want to do this
Without you
I can’t
And I’ve known it
First moment
I felt you enchant
Every inch,
Every fiber,
Of being alone
With the solace and warmth
Of there’s no place like home
And you truly are
Family,
My world now,
My life,
And if you would still have me
My beautiful wife

Inimitable
All comparison pales
Evoke the grandeur
Of my hubris
In your cautionary tales
For if it fails
To tell your story
Better than
Yourself
It loses
Right to choose its
Fallen angels
To your detri-
Mental muses
And the few
Who take control
And can command
Their true potential
Seldom further still
Master the skill
Of making instrumental
What no artist
In my presence
Would pretentiously proclaim,
This is talent,
This is gifted,
This is critical acclaim
Without first
Due credit given
Driven by
A motivation
Inclination to creation
From some source of inspiration

Wellspring of regret
One we cannot forget
And yet
To its fond few
We’re forever in debt
So make room for the new
And let out
What the old
Keep you clinging
To what could have been
Yours to hold
And don’t let it go
Next time
Around the world over
Embrace open minds
And they will
End in closure
Just know her
Time hadn’t
Precisely converged
Although from its
Incursion
In yours
There emerged
An indelible
Celebratory
Each day,
Despite how that fateful
Lose faithful
One stays

Am I actually sleeping
Or resting assured
Am I truly at peace
Or some sort of unmoored
Don’t know nothing about me
Just how I would feel
If I left her without me
The rest is unreal
Now I’m too deep
Too far
To turn back
Even if
Shades of solitude
Often too
Hard to resist
But still vastly outweighing
My thrive in the dark
Is my strive
To undauntedly
Follow my heart  
And dispose of the key
That once locked it away
And get used to the growing old
Life
Day by day

The power of our words
More than ever
Consequential
Merely publicly  
Expelling them
Can earn yourself
A medal
Or a cancellation
Fee
Discontinued,
Disavowed,
Disowned,
Disposed
Dismissively
So how to speak
And what to write
Nothing I say
Is ever right
And everybody is a victim
Of appropriated
Plight
And all their trauma
Melodrama
Just a newsfeed
To recite
A misinformed
Discord
Disorder
Terms
Conditioned
To comply
So keep it scrolling
Keep me posted
Only if
You tell me why

You don’t seem like
The small talk
Kind
So tell me
What is
On your mind
And in your heart
What claims
Your soul
What urges
Can you not
Control
Withhold
What you’d prefer to share
What most in public
Wouldn’t dare
Divulge
If it indulges sleep
You can’t be sure
Your secrets keep
Or that I’d seek
To understand
Reciprocate
Your candor
And
Expect
My intellect
To match
Gratuities
Preferred
In cash

You think I’m unaffected
Disinfected from the plague
But I grow sicker
As we wither
And they bicker
In The Hague
So don’t mistake this
For indifference
Won’t enlist
In their campaign
Of genocide
And Bidenomics
And its proxy war
Ukraine
So keep decrying its inflation
Boast its by
The numbers game
I’d rather focus on
The ones who
Inhumanely
Test its aim
So don’t disown me
If I only
See an arsenal arrayed,
Object to pay
To play a role in its
Unjustified
Crusade

What divinities
Beckon me
This time
Enchanted
Enraged consciousness
In a shell of
Recanted
Positions all formerly
Formative
Certain
Result in this normal
Pejorative
Version
This boring
Embittered
Automaton
Person
More callous
More crass
Far less likely
To help
Unless it
Can enrich
My immortalized
Self

******
In my loneliest sorrow
Foreboding
Yet for
Her I do
Know I have to keep going

Atoned
For my failing
My feeling
Like ****
By unmaking myself
More becomingly numb

Then disowned
But immersed
In material worlds
In my alienation
Recounting the girls

I bemoaned
Of my heartache
Uniquely
Distinct
As if no other lovers
Expressively inked

Their enthroned
In eternal
Forevers unfolding
Just finally found mine
In her close to me
Holding

You’d think by now
I’d overcome
My undoing
Reclusive
Obtuse
Of no use
Just consuming
Indulgently,
Carelessly,
Selfishly
Sating
My lust
For the never enough
Stuff I’m craving
But they could all watch me
To no end devour
Avert their gaze
Flee from my gaping jaws
Cower
Before my voracious
Most wasteful
Disdain
In its hungry indifference
Treats them
All the same

The sickness of society
Itself
The impropriety
The clock
Tik-tok’ng
Virally
The world reacting
Violently
Too long repressed
This side of me
Pretenses
Prone
To primacy
Eventually
Become the norm
Undo the instinct
To conform
That comes from this
Excessive culture
Dog eat dog
Consumer vulture
Law and order’s
Infrastructure
Ruptured like
A housing bubble
Hospitals
Reduced to rubble
And beneath
The tons of toxins
Still our self-destruction
Blossoms
Love and hate’s
Unnatural state
Of unions we cannot
Equate

I’ll always be
The quiet kid
Internal wild
Riot kid
So long within
The shadows hid
Unto my fallen graces
Bid
A long farewell
To adolescence
Yet preserved
Its youth
Quintessence
Fully formed,
Matured
And grown
Up in a world
I can’t condone
And so condemned
To walk alone
Along across
Its vast unknown
I’ve shown beneath the surface
Seldom
More than what is
Most unwelcome
This
Needless to say
In writing
What I’d rather
Be inciting

****** expressions
And micro-aggressions
Connections,
Perceptions
And lasting impressions
Still can’t comprehensively
Summarize
Talk
Just communicate
What we
So seemingly
Sought

Edge of the world again
Jumping back into
A despondent sea
For eventually
Everything ends
With my misery
Close to sustaining
In totality
What just years ago
Seemed
Inconceivably
Distant
Attained,
Reified,
Redefined
Self-sufficient
To then see
Dependency
Forming
Between
I can’t live without you
Can’t make love
To a screen

Free screechin’
My speech
From on high
Out of reach
And I keep droppin’ bombs
Like the gods you beseech
To surcease the truth-bleaching
How many we reap
To keep eye-sis on prizes
And dreams ever suite
Like the president’s penthouse
My skyrocket rents out
The tenements
Residents
Turned into terrorists
Level it all
For a nest egg
Resettlement
Watch the rest beg
As I hatch
Propaganda
My liberty spectacle
Extravaganza  
Commanding
Demand
In my talons’
Vice-grip
Watch me crush the life out of
Refuse to submit
And perpetuate conflict
Unscathed and unfettered
Without even ruffling
One single feather

The issues that plague
The day
No one will want to say
Just let it go
Far astray
Like a stowaway
Soon reenact
The detachment
Scenario
Learning each time
That it isn’t
So scary though
To remain bound
Inextricably linked
With a future in which you
Suppress the instinct
To abandon what
Brings the most
Comfort and joy
When you feel
What you seek
Soon enough
You destroy

What is this warped
Standard beauty
Obsession
This skewed
Self-esteem
That distorts
Your reflection
Is it
A pretentious
Consumer-based
Model
To blame for
The single-use
Plastic-faced
Squabble
Or simply just vanities
Staring inherently
Fairest of all
On the wall
We apparently
Cannot see clear
Merely peering in glass
But somehow
We make shards
Of the one looking back

But I cannot lie to you
Soon enough die for you
Told you I’d wait
Hesitate
My goodbye to you
Even in doubt
You return to my sight
Or without you
Before me
To read what I write
I would carry on lonely
Just solely compelled
By the still so elusive
Lost homeliness
Dwelled
In its absence
Move past this
Impossible choice
For each option
A toxin
No hope to rejoice
If I go
I relinquish
My life’s work
Amounting
To stay
In old ways
I can spend the days
Counting
The fortune amassed
At last
Watch myself tear at
The seems
Fall apart
If you’re not here to share it

This is my life now
Be told what to do
Just get used to the ways
That I fail to please you
Could be going through some
Minor
Internal crisis
Infecting
Afflicting
My love like a virus
And I just
Want something
To cure the
Divide us
Retire my
Self-righteousness
And unite us
But try as I might
For impartial
Provider
I’m building a home
With some sticks
And a lighter

You beckon me back
To the path
Not yet taken
With you I’m the tallest
The strongest
The bravest
The boldest
When circumstances
Are the gravest
And I will keep pulling you
Back in my arms
Keep on letting you snooze
On your morning alarms
Still refuse to get used to
This losing you
Fear
Still exclusively
Write to you,
For you
Sincere
For without you I’m smallest
The weakest
The fakest
The coldest
In sunlit expanse’s
Oasis
So beckon me back
To the path not yet taken
For all those I’ve ventured before you
Forsaken

Have I not
Yet overstated
Graves and havens
All the same and
Grim as I’ve ever been
Staunch proletarian
There is but one
Whom I hold
Dearest sentiment
Much to the complement
Of my addictions,
My bastions
In ashes
Atop my convictions
My practical
Prosperous
Prose
Only knows
How irrational
Feels
How emotional flows
When she goes
Beyond where
I relinquish control
Where the only choice left
Is to give her my soul

Look at us
Blurring the days
In these picture frames
Going our own
Separate ways
Onto sicker brains
Leaves me
Internally
Wretching
To contemplate
Predicated
On the seedbed of doubt
That what happens between us
Would wither without

We’re all just
Walking corpses
Mass extortionists
Exploiting
One another’s
Other lovers’
Generosity
Avoiding
Indiscretion
Infidelity
Indefinite
Decay
And in the interim
Infer
There must be someone left
To save

Not problems
Ideations
More like mental health
Math equations
Wait
Can I say that
It’s not a condition?
Just bury myself
In my work
In my mission
In reason
Still lacking a purpose
But aimed
At the brains
Of the same
Kinda strange

Always wallow
Ever wither
I am underneath
The Winter
Soldiering
Like lonely snowmen
Thinking of the graves
Below them
Frozen in
How long I’ve known this
Predisposed to cold
Immersed
My killer instinct
Nature lurks
How hard to keep repressed
It works
To seal within
An icy fortress
My most
Predatory
Portraits

Immersed in new roles
Disappearing in me
If I get any closer to death
I am free
But I might just keep playing
This game everyday
I can meet
And delete you
The same
Unafraid
To be severed
From ties
Tirelessly I knotted
And weathered the storm
Like a pumpkin patch
Rotted
Forgotten again
Is the ink in my pen
And despite how it pains me
I still write its end

Love for my solace
Enchantress
Romances
To render my solitude’s
Narrow expanses
A coffin no more
Than the halls of Atlantis
Enthralled on the shore
Of a homeless encampment
Displaced along
Floodwaters rise
But alive
And as long as
The conflict ensuing
Is distant
Not in my
Backyard
Basically
Non-existent
My conscience is clear
And untarnished my pride
I can carry on here
Without guilty inside
All it takes
Is reducing
The problems to me
All alone,
So alone
In my personally

Fear not
I am only
An omen away
Just a miracle
Universe
See you someday
And in nearly three decades
My path has converged
Intersected
Enmeshed with
Insatiable urge
Irrepressible
Lust
To be wanted
Adored
But I must
Be left all alone
To rest assured
That attention received
Won’t just leave me aggrieved
When the unwanted feelings
Arising
Deceive

Staunchly the vanguard
Far flung is my beachhead
And only the sirens
Have sung of my weakness
And lonely horizons
As distant as memories
Unparalleled
In bestowing serenities
Woe and beholding
Idyllic illusion
All coming to ruin
As foolish delusion
Intrusion deep into
My psyche sanctorum
Fixated on finding
My place in the forum
Beside the belied
Circumscribed
Happenstance
But encounters as resonant
Subject to chance
And entranced
Unperturbed
Or intrigued
I’m romanced
Just as easy as wind
Finds its way through the world
Just as natural
As any boy
Talks to a girl

Still nonetheless
Hurts
Your reversal
Of fortune
What’s up wit me?
Now you see
In full distortion
Was not what you wanted
Expressed
Or repressed
Miss me
Just keep me guessing
Hurts still
Nonetheless