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Micaela Jun 2019
i’m jealous of me
from an hour ago—
because i was the one
who got to be with you
an hour ago,

and now i’m not.

i’m jealous of me
from an hour ago—
because you kissed my nose
and you held me so close
an hour ago,

...
so
can we hang out tonight?
your run-of-the-mill kind of silly love poem because my boyfriend is at work and i miss him ******
Micaela Jun 2019
it’s official—
i hate being alone.
this isn’t a poem
but
it’s words
i needed to say
my negative thoughts aren’t the best of company
Micaela Jun 2019
why is it so immeasurably
heart cracking
to imagine you
loving someone
else before you
even knew me

do you ever think
about her or
them
or
are we,
we two,
the only two you imagine?

you wrote of pain
you wrote of deep pain
you wrote of lust
of deeper love

have i penetrated
you quite as thoroughly?

(or am i selfish for asking)
Micaela Jun 2019
maybe i don't have answers
but at least now
i'm asking questions

i don't know if i'm verbally
processing or if i just want
to talk about myself some more

it’s clumsy
it’s clammy
but it’s finally something
Micaela Jun 2019
when you fall in love,
you start to protect your lover —
you learn how to keep him safe from his heartache and his hurt.
you become his wall of happiness,
protection from unwanted intruders,

and he is already protecting you.
he has learned to defend you
against predators and cannibals
and men who lurk in shadows.
he becomes your wall of safety,
protection from unwanted intruders,

but sooner or later
love teaches him.
he learns his real job :
to protect you
from yourself.

so he destroys the doubts
and he exiles the pain
and he uproots theshameandguiltandfear
from within the walls
of your secret garden —

and he quietly grows

and he tenderly nurtures

your contentment within yourself.


then without warning
the april sun shines
he opens wide the garden gates —
the walls have been long torn down —

and your gardener gently whispers :

it’s time for you
to come
and enjoy your own paradise lost
  May 2019 Micaela
S G Arndt
April showers — in May
The flowers cannot breathe
I cannot breathe
Rest easy
Friend
These tears run down my cheek
What a disastrous — delicate day
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