Today is normal
Nothing's special
I heard your voice
I played your songs
Letting it be recorded
At my own cassette,
My heart, my mind and soul.

The thought of life
The killer,
The murderer
**** me, **** me
Stop punishing me.
Don't make me gasp for the air.
Shoot me in the head.
Hit me with a cargo truck.
Make me cry no more.

Tears are filling my eyelids,
The fear terrorizing my body.

Im shaking.
Make me stop

Make me sleep.
Im begging for a dream.

End.
End this.
End me.

Today it rains like never before,
It wears grace and pain;
It feels like a woman.

The cruel abyss of my cavernous
Heart wears violent black flora
In the furrow of my deep grief.

On this day no one has asked for me,
I pray to God and ask forgiveness
For how little I have died.

This mortal crusade that fasts on emotion,
It wears me like a fleece of flesh
That weeps softly at the soliloquy of me.

I wish I could beat on all the doors
And find good behind anyone,
But I soak in a puddle of self pity.

Destiny has seen to my downfall,
The backwash of suffering welling
Into my soul, today it rains as never before.

A wise man raised his hand,
Declares intent to speak.
Says nothing.
A crowd begins to think.

As I make my progress through life
I am aware constantly
Of the need for answers
and I am equally aware
that I have not been asking
the right questions.

you are the most beautiful music there is
every verse tells a story
of a full life
a lover
a fighter
a gentle heart
a battle fought
and lost

the chorus sings
of love and hope
of death and loss
finding your way
forgiveness and regret

and no matter the words
no matter the melody
no matter how quietly
you still sing your beautiful song

the song is you
so sing your heart out
and never forget how to dance
never forget you own this song
it's yours to sing
so sing it

.

He sat across the table behind a crystal ball,
wearing a weird hat that looked like the roof
of the Taj Mahal, dark rhinestone encrusted glasses
and a colorful suit straight off of the
Sgt. Pepper album cover
The patchouli incense was a nice touch but
not necessary, at least for me

“What do you see in my future?” I asked
He thought for a moment
then hummed some strange melody,
(I think it was a Taylor Swift song)
before saying, “I can not see your future,
I can only see what will happen ahead.
Your future is behind you now,
it is out of my hands.”

“I don’t understand?” I questioned
thinking to myself I have definitely
been ripped off this time, twenty bucks
down the drain
“How could you let her go?” he queried
staring intently into the glass orb
“She was your future, your everything.
She made you what you were,
brought out the best in you
and you let her go, you gave up your future.”

That hurt…it hit me hard as I felt
tears well up in my eyes at the thought of her,
of us and then my sadness became anger
as I shouted at him, “What gives you the right
to say these things to me?”
With that he removed his hat and glasses
and I felt a wave of anxiety grip me.
“Because I am you,” he said staring at me now
and not that ****** ball

A lump the size of Everest grew in my throat,
it was me, he was me
as I nervously asked, “Is there any hope for happiness
in what will happen ahead then?”
Staring at myself I waited for the answer
which I already knew…then we spoke in unison,
“No, there is not.”

Beyond these unyielding doubts
cast upon me like rust-splintered chains
haunting my every thought
my every breath
there is reason
for my existence
the strength of which carries me beyond the fog
from which these chains are cast

there is purpose in my struggle
a light that burns unrelenting
searching the summits
riding the storms to their end
darkness be ******
the rain and wind of change
only serve to make me stronger
more determined
to write these thoughts
that lay in waiting
for those willing

I remain a poet
in this age of the dying word