I broke my own heart
Trying to be enough for you
And always falling short.

I used to believe
A heart broke quickly.
A strayed lover,
A punch to the gut,
A truth revealed-

But it is not like that really.

A heart breaks slowly.
It bruises and strains
With each added hurt
With every small fight.
Little fractures begin to form
With every feeling of being unwanted
And every time he makes you cry.
Pieces begin to fall away
When he stops coming home
And starts sleeping on the couch.
The pieces get larger
When he stops touching you
And his actions no longer match his words.

When he breaks his promise
Of forever with you-
You realize you feel an emptiness inside.
A heart broken gradually
Until nothing is left behind.
Your only hope-
Is that maybe a small piece still remains
That you can rebuild from.

And you vow-
To protect it better next time.

There is a dark shadow
In the corner of my room.
I did not notice it at first,
But I think it has been there for months-
Growing-
And growing-
And snuffing out the light.

I only realize its presence now-
As half of the room
Is shrouded in darkness.

It has become hard to see.

Depression is like
Being on a sinking ship.
You see another boat
Out on the horizon,
But you are not sure
It will make it in time
To save you.

I lose
Bits and pieces
Of myself
Every night.

I only realize
Now-
When so much
Is already gone.

Sometimes-
I feel too much.

Sometimes-
I feel nothing at all.

I have seen suns set
All over the world
And each time
I feel more alive
Than the last.