The coffee gurgles

                                The oven fan hums
It's 2:12
                                                          In the afternoon

and we're getting ready to eat breakfast


You're sitting

right
next
to
me

                                             PERFECTLY FINE

You're keeping it together?

You are keeping it together.


And I'm falling apart at the seams.

Keep laughing

                            Keep that smile on your face

iknowthatshowyoudeal


But it pains me

to see you this way

                                                               I don't want to be hurting alone...
...it makes this all so much worse

.

.

.
.
.
.... I did  this........                      to ................  both
                                    ....of                                          us.

I KNOW

                                    iguessimlivingwiththeconsequencesnow

I'm STRONG
                                                     I don't need you.......


......but i do

                            I'm not sure you'll ever see how much.



i miss you

                                                          and


you're                       right                       next              to                     me

You

                                                                             are


                                                      here,                            while

I

am here

my head is s c a t t e r e d

                                            and s  p  i  n  i  n  g


I. Don't. Know.

                                                                               What to expect.....

Tell me.

                            P.L.E.A.S.E.


it's driving me crazy

                                                                                           i

                didn't                                        want                                          to

                        ruin                                                                        whatever

                                                 it                                      is

we had


I'll be here          
                                                                                         waiting

                                 when you're ready

Comfort
An embrace
A kiss
A touch of the hand

Comfort
Can be given yet unwanted
Can be wanted yet unfulfilled
Can be received yet misconstrued
Can be the foundation of a lasting bond

Comfort
That's what I am to you

Comfort
I am relief
I am soft
I am strong
I am warm

Comfort Woman
Is this all I am to you?

Comfort
I am here when you need
Arms to hold you
Lips to graze over your skin
Fingers to explore your anatomy
You enthrall me
You amaze me
You touch my soul and tear it apart

Comfort
What happens when you don't need it anymore?
Do you disappear?
Or do I?

While I'm lying here comforting you
you don't realize that
at the same time
you're a comfort to me
but there's an ache in my chest
that knows I'm not the only one
I can be replaced for you
You can find comfort in many
That's great
That's fantastic
That's healthy

I. Can't. Do. The. Same.

I don't find comfort in many
but I find it in you
In ten years, I'll remember you
and how it feels to
lay on your chest
have your breath on my neck
your head on my shoulder

All I can do is hope
that you'll remember
just a piece of me:
that I was your best kept comfort

The nerves.

Oh my, the nerves.

On call every fraction of a second.

Being fiercely independent and overthinking

combine in a toxic way during a transition.

You are the best and worst person for yourself.

They trade places in an instant.

What is a total release one moment

becomes the largest source of stress without warning.

You constantly have to remind yourself that this IS what you wanted.

This is what I wanted.

This is what I needed.

You can plan the hell out of them

but never will they go as you imagined.

But that's life, yes?

Something will always happen

whether or not you foresaw it.

When you lose some one to death

That's one thing.

When something is taken away from you and is gone forever it's easier.

When something dies but it's still alive,

When you **** something but its heart is still beating.

That is a far worse pain to endure.

It was for the right reasons,

those I have yet to explain.

I hope you'll give me the chance

to do at least that.

Until we meet again.

when your laughs turn into sobs

they go back and forth really

you can see the line

are you overjoyed or hysterical?

it's a vicious cycle

to realize your emotions.

as I laugh into sadness i remember all I've done

I let you down

when all you did was raise me up

I promised you things that I have had to go back on

Your trust in  me may never be the same

but believe me when I say that you will always be in my fame

hold yourself dear

as i do now

it may not seem like it

but please don't fight it.

We will each move on

cause that's how how things work

but you will always remain

my closest domain.

I consider that I may have just ruined

the best thing to have entered my life

But when the time isn't right

it really ***** things up.

And I wish so much that I had met you twenty years from now

because my heart would want the the things you do.

But right now

it's not the same

it'll work itself out

the way it's supposed to

you'll find yourself a girl who deserves and appreciates every second of you.

I'm sorry that I couldn't do that.

You have no idea how much I wish I could

You mean so much to me.

I love you.

It's that simple and that complicated.

Be happy

Forgive

Don't forget

We had amazing moments together.

Please never forget me.

Because I will never forget you.

I will cherish those moments forever.

I know that you will need to grieve

But

Please don't think badly of me

I needed to do this

and I hope that one day I'll be be able to explain

I hope that one day we can be as close as we used to

I will will always regret not telling you how important you are to me

You are millions of times more amazing than you think you are

You'll find her

I truly believe that

your one girl who can give you everything that you desire.

I'm sorry I couldn't be her for you

but I promise to be supportive of you always

in anything

no matter what

we'll probably always agree to disagree

but that's what makes us you and me

I promise that when I reach the point

If I ever meet Miss Kesha Rose

I will make sure

you have your tea, just tea, with her.