you cannot blame me for fixing myself the way i did.
when you told me my eyes were like windows you had broken into,
i didn’t think to touch my chest to see if my heart was still there

words describing emotions
where people ponder whats actually being said
misconception for ideas
being illustrated through the mind
a mind where only abstractions grow
emotions are depicted as drawings
on screens for only some to decipher
being given the gift to place language to feelings

Pondering the idea of pain
My mind wanders into the territory that is you
A sign colored red screaming stop is facing me
I would like to know if it hurts-
if it hurts the way getting thrown into the ocean waves unprepared,
the way liquor burns down your cut throat from screaming hate filled words into the stretch of air between you and I

I just want to know if it even hurts a little,
like the way a bee may sting,
or sitting on a metal chair thats basked in sunshine
Because for me its like watching my life walk in front of me,
And leave me behind

it was like when i saw you i could finally breathe,
and i let go of the breath i was holding in my whole life
my lungs escaping the cages they were trapped inside
like butterflies exploding from my chest

knowing you seemed to **** some life out of me
my efforts were a collection of habits that you superimposed to my mind
anything i knew was based around you
the coffee in the morning i thought woke me up,
was really only thrilling because you were the one serving it
drinking it black-
since it seemed to be a reflection of your heart

i can't help but think maybe this time
for the first time
you'll hold my heart instead of my hand
and lead me into brighter days instead down a road
that i am not really sure where it goes

being with you has taken everything out of me
i feel as if my soul has been capsized into the abyss that is you
swallowing me whole
leaving nothing left for myself to enjoy
my body trembles at the thought of you
first a contentment feeling of warmth
now shards splintering into my bones and heart leaving scars the size
        of windows--
windows that you have escaped from; leaving the pain stinging just a little bit more
there is a gaping hole in my chest
and your winds are blowing straight through
leaving nothing but pieces of you for my bare and broken hands to hold on to