If only you had been
Addicted to me
The same way that
I was addicted to you.

I would stop my day
For you
But you would maybe
For me.

I have questioned
‘Was I not enough?’
Countless times
And I know that I was.

Then at the same time
I know that I was not
I was not a Sativa or an Indica
So what was I to you?

It was sunny today and I felt good,
It was weird cause I didn’t think that I should.
But the sun gave me hope - it made me feel warm,
What a lovely release from my inner storm.

It’s so very easy to focus on the bad,
To overthink everything that’s making you sad.
My friends say it will be easier and try give me hope,
Right now their words are the only thing helping me cope.

I live in the future but also the past, constantly caught between the two.
Thinking about the things I wish I could change,
Whilst worrying about what has yet to come…

Change can happen slowly,
Or sometimes all at once,
You never see it coming,
Only after it has struck.

Change can be a good thing,
Or sometimes bad,
But it always happens for a reason,
Even if it makes you sad.

I did not know that things would ever be this hard,
That time would turn into my enemy and make me put up a guard.
But now I keep being told that time will be my best friend,
That the pain it has caused me it can also mend.

Replaying events over and over in my head,
I can't break away; I can't even go to bed.
Sleep has become a stranger and I find myself staring into the dark,
But this journey of myself I know that I must embark.

I’m not sure how long it will take me,
And I wonder what I’ll see.
I don’t know if I’ll even get far,
But I know that I must try, to try and heal this scar.