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Louisa Coller Feb 2019
23
Everywhere I visit,
those numbers follow.
I gaze upon my imaginary fortune,
Falling gracefully within the hollow.
Louisa Coller Dec 2023
Your life is the dreams mine tried to calculate,
Envy fills me up but never hate.

Inspired by your ways of speaking,
Infatuation made me fall through.

You try not to let me in,
But I want to see you again and again.

You see my eyes and your gaze weakens me,
With this constant desire to have you near me.

So many have left me breathless,
But gazing at you, I've become speechless.

Words keep failing but my mind keeps falling,
For this interesting love I cannot replace.

It has to be you, my body craves,
The scent of your hair and warmth of your face.

It has to be you, my heart aches,
Your creative wave drowns my sorrows away.

There are so many more people better than us,
But why would I care when I have us?

You're perfect standing there,
My heart becomes brave.
Louisa Coller Feb 2018
Ambitious but ridiculous,
are the first words to think of,
heartfelt ridicule emerges in.

A phrase, a saying from the ones they admire,
A fight or a lie left clouding up their innocent mind.

"I need to protect" is the instinct as they hold on tighter,
but how can a child protect something that wasn't even dying?

Innocence is replaced with fragments of imagination,
but bliss can never be replicated after concealed and pain felt fates.

Lessons and quotations,
stick inside their brain,
moments of dedication, are in droplets of rain.

Find your dreams, write them down inseams,
yet if you miss one thread of the stitching you can't simply,
're-sew' everything there, it has to stay the same,
creating this imperfect game which tortures their brain.

An adult's mind adapts to suffering, pain, and gore.
A child's mind reacts and begs to see no more.
How does it feel?
To have feelings strong as oak.

I cried raindrops of empathy,
You used my water to keep your strength.

How does it feel?
To have vision as clear as fog.

I worked effortlessly to fight your fears,
And you repaid me by holding someone new.

How does it feel?
To shatter my heart completely.

I'm a daffodil of multiple heads,
Yet you ripped my petals off vigorously.

Now, how does it feel?
To build my hopes up everyday.

To destroy my walls mercilessly,
For me to regret being this way.
Louisa Coller Dec 2016
Scrunched up lines,
blurred faces,
captured lives and distorted paces.
Ruptured skulls and ripped up dreams.
Coated in paint, stings are ease.
Louisa Coller Sep 2018
Relaxed, Intertwined, feeling rather free,
Glee emotion in your eyes, give me peace.
Kicking my feet, drinking morning coffee,
as you gaze at me like a masterpiece.

Tints of crimson always filling my cheeks,
The past, it hurts, but my future is green.
I had felt like many dusty antiques,
you didn't, filling my heart like a marine.

Indescribable, Irreplaceable,
Many say as they manipulate me.
Undesired, I became replaceable,
Not by the writer who lives oversea.

He makes me relaxed, his arms around me,
He tells my worth, I begin to agree.
This poem is based on the factor that I used to not be fond of love; I used to be terrified of it because I knew I LOVED love. I lost my first love and it hurt me like a thorn and became numb to emotion and hurt by the world.

Soon enough time passes and I meet someone new, he wasn't like him but a lot better and tells me my worth; I think it was sad, how hurt I was when my 'first love' wasn't love since I was doing all the work.

So now that someone loves me and I begin to love him, I feel my heart blossom, re-open and start to feel vulnerable and free.

Here's to loving again.
Louisa Coller Nov 2023
White dress shimmer in the sun,
Black hair filled with stars.

A skin of history feels so old,
Mapping out journey forevermore.

A stiff upper lip to hold pride,
For not only me and who I am.

Feel my toes within the seashore,
Aloha Oe.

A hui hou kākou,
Are words a younger me once meant.

As my fruit withers,
To renew the soils again.

A hui hou kākou,
Are words I mean again.
Louisa Coller Dec 2023
You were drawing pictures with me,
I was sipping beer and see,
You downing another shot of whiskey.

I said I liked your rugged style,
I think saying that made you smile,
Because I compared it to an album in the 90s.

But as the desperation seeped in,
Our minds kept wandering and,
It left me with a sense of ambition.

You said the best painters were drunks,
I said the best musicians were on drugs,
You cackle at what I say...

We talked about life and death,
I confront the words you said,
You blame liquor and talk,
but I didn't believe you.

I said I know crave your touch,
But you mean something a lot,
Something I envy.

I asked "What's got you down?"
Wondering why you're hurting now,
You simply tell me then,
You fear you'll never reach the end.

I said it's the journey not the goal,
I've met my goals before,
I know I crave the journey more,
My heart pounding in my chest.

But as the desperation seeped in,
Our minds kept wandering and,
It left me with a sense of ambition.

You said the best painters were drunks,
I said the best musicians were on drugs,
You cackle at what I say...

We talked about being replaced,
I feared you leaving everyday but,
You began to say,
"Everyone literally could replace me."

I've never met anyone like you,
Your charming demeanor came through,
You mean everything to me,
It's a promise that I keep.

But as the desperation seeped in,
Our minds kept wandering and,
It left me with a sense of ambition...

That I love you.

I clearly love you.

I thought I would,
Fall,
For the idea of us.

But as I get to know you,
I know it's clear as day,
This sense of sweet ambition is here to stay.
Louisa Coller Jan 2023
Just think of me,
That's all I want.
Louisa Coller Jun 2022
Bright mind with overflown joy,
Loving personality and poise.
Absolutely irreplaceable,
Intelligent, incredible and...
Reckless.
Everyone's favourite kind of girl.
Louisa Coller Sep 2023
I've tempted my rebellious mind,
But I lost my sense of wrong and right.
That can be abused in a world,
of white/black thinking.
Learning to be an adult,
Not a kid innit.

I don't want to be the right and wrong,
I'm a deep grey mush trying to grow up.
Your poison filled me, like a sadistic goodbye,
I'm sick and tired of wasting my own time.

Hold them closer, people ask me,
But I ain't here to suffocate nobody.
Try to analyse my life with checklists,
But I'm managing fine, just let me.

Not everything can be written down,
I just wanted to learn to let it all out.
I feel like a fool living in this game,
I wonder how much my palms will take.
Louisa Coller Jun 2022
Literature flows through her mind,
Open and free like a chamber of time.
Unique requirements fulfilled in her mind,
Irrationality forming one day at a time.
Starlight memories sunk deep in,
A broken heart raindrop filled.
Louisa Coller Aug 2020
You're warm, I like that.
I see you so focused,
at blissful distractions.

If you keep writing the worlds,
you build steadily on truth,
I do hope that people...

Become more like you.
Louisa Coller Mar 2018
From a poet to another, here is my proposal.
Both a poem, yet offering, and I'm not joking!
Imagine your words written on screen,
well let me tell you my friends, it's not a dream.

I am offering you a 'Little Letter', to share your talent far and wide,
for today I'm starting a brand new project for all of mankind.
We write a poem for someone we knew, or something we hold dear.

Then montage flashes, an actor still, saying your words with passion.
For I ask you, hand in hand,
would you like to be a part of this?

__________

If you have read this far, congratulations!
I just wanted to say, as someone who loves poetry and starting to get into the love of filmmaking. I want to combine our two interests. I am creating a visual, slam poetry montage short film series called 'Little Letters', this series is about poems dear to you, about someone you knew or know and of course topics or objects you treasure dearly.

If you want to take part, feel free to email me at: louisacoller@outlook.com.

If not email, feel free to send me a facebook inbox: https://www.facebook.com/LouisaColler

I can't wait to start working with you amazingly talented people.
I am accepting poets to come and help write the series (you will be credited), as well as any potential actors (West Midlands location).
Louisa Coller Jan 2022
You're dressed soft and warm,
You let out a smile around me,
It's all I need to see.

You'll speak about how you adore,
The pictures moving on the walls,
It's all I need to hear.

Your demeanor is tall and defensive,
But in similarity to one of a bear,
It's all I need to feel.

Sensations of water rushing through,
In a wonderful, melodic way,
It's all I need to smell.

The warmth you give when you cook,
The smell and tastes that excite me...
It's all I need to taste.

I yearn, so badly...
Is it too late for you to touch me?
Art
Louisa Coller Jun 2018
Art
When you start as an artist, people assume,
that talent begins when you pick up the pencil,
how wrong they were to think that beginning,
was the beginning of my artistic thought-process.

Every bricks texture on the wall, appealed me,
the textures feel different, it's strangely addicting,
when the television light flashes into your face,
media inspires, media creates.

I was born with a wire attached to my brain,
but I can still unplug and refresh myself again.

For art is all around in different shapes and forms,
whether you agree or not - I love it all.
Louisa Coller Sep 2018
Tender crimson leaves,
shade the tiny, tired fairy,
masking her flowerbed.
Louisa Coller May 18
You wonder why
My words are little
In a world so large

Because I sing constellations
Universes, planets and solar systems
To even get a whisper to you.
Louisa Coller Feb 2018
Many people may be shocked when I say this,
but I spent my life in a bathroom.

I remember day one, they told me,
"Don't be insecure, get up and go".
I took a breath and asked politely;
"Please may I go?" as I skipped on my way.

But one day it didn't go my way,
in fact, it was a mess in more than one way.
I smiled politely as she shut me up tightly, so I sat there silently.
And away I went anyway, but with embarrassment all over me.

Whispers and ambitions as my small self-awaited, the birthday queen yet trapped the whole day, I stumbled and fell and stood in the stall, refusing to show my face, as the giddy giggles, the notes, and the scribbles were passed for two whole days.

Then the parties, the drunken states, the boy's lips, the lights and daze, the moment of freedom, yet trapped all the same.
I'd make my way to that very same place, standing and staring anticipating and glaring before violently sprinting away.

Then the moment that smashes you open, the moments that remind you of your emotionless moments, the one day you chose not to stay in the way was the one day death takes your place, he struts and glares down the way to enter a bathroom in joy.

But here I stare and wonder at what would happen if I came too.

But now I access a simple bathroom, anytime, any day any moment, but because of that day the one that I missed, she remains a memory and not a face.

It might sound weird, but I spent my life in a bathroom,
admiring the textures, the floors, the technical.
But if there was one thing I'd do,
trade every day for the one I wasn't.
Louisa Coller Nov 2020
You carry on like a fast-paced wheel,
While I am stuck in place.
You carry on everyday,
But I'm stuck here just the same.
I hope I'm fine, I want more time,
Please don't take that away.

To be just someone else on a list
Of others
Would just pain me.
Louisa Coller Mar 13
Fiction helps keep a lot of us sane,
Making up stories almost day-to-day.
Though fiction seems rational,
reality is off the rails,
Absolute madness everyday.

Picture frames in a home are lucky,
When this is all temporary for us.
We are comfortable and happy,
But they'll take - It's a 'must'.

Overanalyze my medical history,
As you let me down for years.
I've screamed for help forever,
You just silenced the child beneath this.

I fall in love with victim's of war,
Becoming comfortable is temporary.
As others experience hellscapes the same,
You show little care for anybody.

Sick to the core, coughing my lungs,
I want to sing and be free but it isn't enough.
One day I'll succumb and what do I get?
Nothing. But I deserved,
Better than this.
Louisa Coller Nov 2015
Late but better than ever a young girl's eyes opened,
Opening to a world of inspiration, interpretation and love.
Unique to the eye at first sight I investigate my surroundings,
I wonder even to this day what my first thought must have been.
Simple but sweet a baby can be to everyone around,
all surrounded the Father's first and only daughter.
Louisa Coller Jun 2020
Beautiful skin, shimmering with love.
Loving souls filled with stories.
Amazing music, dreaming of gold.
Curious wonders, captivated by lows.
Kind to one another, kind to all.

Living in fear, each and everyday.
Ignored by potential yet in pain.
Viciously harmed for being them.
Even today, when they plea for safety.
Some will just look another way.

March in lines for change and love,
Arrogance and racism left destroyed.
Together in community,
Together with care...
Everyone must understand,
Really how much is there.
Black lives matter
Louisa Coller Sep 2023
All you need is a lingering touch,
Suffocating breath,
Lasting eyes locked.

Sometimes you need a charming smile,
A ***** mind,
Breaths intertwined.

A gentle hug, worth more than a million kisses,
A physical touch, begging for more than this,
An illicit affair coated in bliss.
Louisa Coller Nov 2014
Look at him, he walks so perfectly in the, morning moments,
I don't think he can see what he used to be like to me.
It seemed like, his innocent soul wanted me so much,
and I wanted him so badly back to also join me in hand.

Now I look at him, he's matured, I wonder if it was too much,
he's passed the days that I should be entering.
I probably, ruined most of his days,
which he could have been, flirting and chattering away with girls.
Prettier, smarter and potential I wish I had, but never ever had a chance.

Now I see, I am just a loner in disguise.
I honestly hate the feeling of the air, pushing into my lungs full of despair,
I just simply want to make my way alone again.
But what happened to that boy? The one who spent nights with me on the phone,
it's like he erased himself from life completely.
I just wonder to myself, was it because of me?
Did he feel like he needed to mature?

Because honestly, I don't feel maturity, at all,
it's like he isolated romance on another world.
I know he tries, I know he cares, he tells me a million times a day,
but why do I feel so sickened by how I feel deep inside?
The life of a loner in disguise.
Another poem written a while back, I wrote this beauty depending on the feelings of a relationship with age difference, as mentioned before, I am 16 and my boyfriend is older than me by 2 years, so he is 18. I feel sometimes like our distance and our age adds to us as having a lack of freedom and it saddens me in a sense that I feel like a boarder.
Louisa Coller May 2015
I broke my rules I gave to myself,
I shattered my truce.
The clock keeps ticking, I keep crying,
wondering if I can bother to talking to you.
I see myself slowly crumbling, like I'm dust.
I feel my face being slowly shattered,
I can not speak my tongue.

Rule over my eyesight I screamed,
now I learn, now I've learned to break free.
I wish for my arms to touch the sky,
I did not want to hide.
You offered me a sweet sacrifice,
I was willing to take.

For I found out that my disloyalty,
ended up with me facing fate itself.
One thing is to hide, another to lie.
Lying it killed me.

I'm sitting here begging to be free inside of my soul.
I tried so hard to love another,
but he does not see me at all.
Just like how over the months,
you have become more faded in this storybook.
Where is the protagonist,
I only see the villain now.

I see a crowded light,
with millions of souls surrounding.
I see the clock, ticking on and on,
until my life is gone, I have nothing at all.
Written to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2LhSv4vYrg
Louisa Coller Jan 2023
Shed my skin away,
All my work has undoubtedly undone,
I knew I would ruin myself in this mess.

I've been unsure if I'd lose the one,
We all yearn for something more,
His flames shone brighter than a lighthouse.

I think it's safe to say I'm wasted water,
Left amongst charcoal leaves ripped apart,
I thought my body would remain bruised.

Instead I felt myself, burned to a crisp,
Dignity left pealing my bark away,
I don't understand how you could hurt me.

I tried to get the best for you,
Pushing myself up and beyond to minimum,
But you would rather leave before then.

Is it just myself to blame,
Ripping parts of my body to bits.
There is charcoal on my arms,
Yet they used to be wood,
You'd think the moisture from my eyes,
Would make the bark feel good.

But I keep playing with the flames,
Running my fingers through the light,
Yet I always end up wondering,
Why burn marks get on my heart.

I've seen a few different flames,
Ones of various strength and colour,
But yours seemed so warm,
Like a campfire in the dark.

But I find myself again, with charcoal hands,
For my branches dry out quick,
And it's just too easy,
for you to come and burn down all of this.

I always think it'll change,
Like I'll be the final flower,
To bloom amongst the flames,
But the smoke just ends up suffocating me again.

My sunflower friends ask me if you didn't realise,
They thought maybe he plays too rough,
But I'm tired of being not enough,
Your obliviousness isn't my flaw.

Suppose that's what hurts in the end,
To know I'm not the flawed one,
But your strings of fake security,
Are what leaves permanent scarring on my face.
Louisa Coller Jun 2022
I'm sorry,
I can't help this, it's something I keep saying to myself.
I'm just very afraid,
Of what anyone has to say.
On one hand you hurt me,
On the next, I don't want him to.
Your love was all I had left,
When my life met a sunken end.

He was never given a chance.
Louisa Coller Jun 2017
When the morning winds press on my cheeks I feel content but not full.
When I decide on something more my self-doubt alongside darkness overtakes my mind in a crippling spiral removing my motivation and adoration infinitely.

Yet whenever I encounter something fresh as well as pure to the eye it grasps my eyes for its beauty, for our standards bring us reputations but a lack of satisfactory.

When I notice the love within the air my heart beats in suffering and knowledge that I myself will not be sharing that moment as my spouse is away from my side yet it comes to my realisation that I give them higher hopes than myself which is what love is, isn't it?

I return to the mindset of an endless pain yet now I must admit to myself, will pain bring me any pleasure or just a lifetime of anguish?

For I stand alone but I stand with a smile, pride ruling over my side but a sin that is not sinful but simply delightful.
Louisa Coller Aug 2022
I thought,
This is everything,
I've ever,
Wanted for us.

So now, I ask myself,
Why you don't...
Want us to stay.
Louisa Coller Aug 2018
Pitiful angel, fallen in the dark.

I feel your wings flutter onto my cheeks so rough,
your horns of a demon, it hurts so much.
You swore you’d stay with me, not ever deserting me.
Please to god, stay with me until we both fade.

We are fiction in the real world of pain, we see everything real,
we can’t feel a single thing.
I don’t want to screech out to those who are blind and deaf,
because nobody seems to sense the inner pain, that worsens.

The artificial comfort, the falls into our palms,
we pray and suffer because we don’t know how to live without god.
I know that in my heart, I feel warmth and grace, but it is shattered,
glass placed in my name.
Worrisome children, run the streets to death.

We are fiction in the real world of pain, we see everything real,
we can’t feel a single thing.
I don’t want to screech out to those who are blind and deaf,
because nobody seems to sense the inner pain, that worsens every day.
That worsens every day.

I can’t bare to look in your eyes, they are colder than the sky,
I can’t bare to look at your lips, for all the lies I’ve missed.
Another older poem I decided to post up.
Louisa Coller Nov 2023
The flame of our world is beautiful,
Creation of warm atmospheric euphoria.

To feel an emotional caress of my cheek,
Followed by a gasp of sun kisses on my head.

He came for raindrops falling on rear mirrors,
I never intended to see the ocean so blue.

She came here to remind herself more of you,
But it isn't what I feel she wants to do.

For a life so bright to come into mine,
Like a candle flame dimming away.

Do you really want this life I give?
I'm shocked you never stayed.
Louisa Coller Jun 2020
Hello?
My voice is heard,
but my heart stops.

Hello?
I hear your words,
And I want to stop.

Goodbye.
If I just keep quiet,
I won't upset you.

It'll damage me, instead.
A romance setting.
I thought it would be,
You and I intertwined in sheets.

But because I'm modern,
You couldn't be traditional.

So soon enough you found yourself,
Modern with someone new.

Now the ironic part of it all,
It wasn't me, it was you.

Life's going to be strange,
When you realize what you've done.

For I want to give my love,
But like a coward I'm gone.
Louisa Coller Jun 2018
Smooth warm skin cradles you so,
The cracked lips are hardly noticeable.
Louisa Coller Jun 2018
I
hear birds
while I sit
in the sunlight
making daisy chains,
until I am tired.
t took me ages to learn to make daisy chains, but when I did, it was when I had became rather uncomfortable with socialising with other children since Mr.Man . In a way, it’s beautiful how I could find love in the simplistic of things, like textures on a wall, leaves, daisies and I even used to love sitting under a big  tree solely because these squishy berries would fall (I didn’t eat them! Don’t worry!).

I used to sit down in the corner of a field most days of my childhood away from the other children, I didn’t speak much and I would often diverse my attention into ‘preparing a decorated fence’, by decorated fence, I mean, I used to pick berries, leaves and such and place them on this fence boarding  the school and believe I was decorating it for someone, I had no idea who for, but it was fun.

I was aiming to try a simple Teractys for the first time in this poem, it was so sweet, I absolutely loved writing it, it felt very right with the bright sunshine outside of my window. The feeling of innocence really streamed through this one and I honestly loved it.
Louisa Coller Jun 2022
I gazed out of the window of the car,
Begging myself to see you.
I imagine touching your face,
Praying you'd kiss me too.
A deep sigh is all I can give,
my complex feelings leave me muted.

I wonder if you really know,
How immensely deep I feel for you.
I always hope everyday,
That I might see your face again.

I crave your touch, your smile and laugh,
For it fills me up with a joy unlike any other.

Someday, you will fuel my heart with sudden love.

It's a dream I have,
I hope we share.
Louisa Coller Jun 2018
Oh! Happy, Confident, It’s finally all done!
My happy moments of truth felt brighter than 30 suns,
I finally got through it even if it hurt a tonne,
annoying all my new friends with overrated puns.

Fans from left to right are finally meeting me there,
I speak words of wisdom and hope that they learn,
they comfort me from all the stories I share,
who knew it would all change you see? When I begin to turn.

Fair skin walks towards me with smiles of pure glee,
I know there’s something here, I see it in his eyes,
he looks up to say, he’s always wanted to see me,
I hold a moment in time, I can see him rise to the highs!

Shades of red covered us both,
it became a blanket of pure hope,
I then vowed to take an oath to see your growth,
to see you excel beyond this *****.

He reminded me of when I was just a dreamer back then,
When I always wondered when...

He sprung up happy, I could tell,
the spark in him never shone so well.
When I was talking to many people starting out YouTube, they would sometimes ask me about it:
    • How can I do this?
    • Is there a secret?
    • Do you know how I can get a following?

In honesty, people just want to see nice, genuine caring people.
Of course you can make views easily by being a **** to everyone because drama sells, but in the end of the day, it was genuine people, being themselves.

One in particular stood out to me when I was young when he started out, was this guy who was really shy at first, but he was an absolute sweetheart, heart of gold and a mind filled with ideas and ambition. I always wanted the best for him and sadly I cut off with them.

Many years later I did see them have their own uprising of following and it made me happy. I was quite glad to know that I could inspire someone to be themselves and go out there to show off who they really are.

I was inspired by irregular ode mixed in with some free versing for this. I wanted to create almost a structure of hope, a feeling of importance and happiness.

Odes are something I do need to practice, but I do think I did a rather good job.
Louisa Coller Jul 2021
You brought me dreams,
From rigid pain.
One that I hope,
You'll grow free of again.
Louisa Coller Jan 2015
The cold textured feelings, ripping up my arm,
the saddened look, I give out - screaming help.
The black and white layer is for a reason,
the mask of the witch doctor, laid on her face,
I don’t want to involve myself in beauty so painful,
it’s seems so sadistic of me, yet an artistic advantage.
When you scream out and call me wrong,
I've learnt to love the agony that pain brought.
The reason for the pain is because when it began,
it began on false alarms - they mistook me.
I was once a young girl, so free and angelic,
then it all began when I realized everything,
I was a bully to the young, a monster inside my soul,
I hid away from everybody, except isolation itself.
A girl known as angels came to worry for me,
I cried out because I am the blood thirsty demon.
She did not know that the dress that she wears for enchantment,
is a witch-crafted nightmare of a long lost devil.
I remember when I loved him so dearly,
I wanted to be with him forever.
Little did I know, how foolish I were to even believe,
in fairy tales at all, the witches and the queens.
“Never grow up”, was the advice I was given,and honestly,
it was terrible advice sunk into me.
I love the pain smothered in the darkness,
welcome to my game, the world of dim.
A girl known as angels came to worry for me,
I cried out because I am the demon,
There by the bushes, picking all the leaves,
I felt their patterns exchanging my thoughts.
I really don’t get it. If I were a demon,why did I feel like an angel once?
Why did they paint my wings white?
Louisa Coller Aug 2022
It ***** that I can't say,
What I want to truly say.

It hurts when I can't shout,
What I want to shout out!

How many years must pass,
For you to open your eyes?

Was I ever yours?
Will you ever be mine?
Louisa Coller Jan 2015
His eyes are like sapphire jewels waiting to be picked up,
they longed for love so pure and they picked up by the poorest female around.
Hair will cover the eyes of the warmest heart,
the one which will not love the way he has done years before.
I don’t want to intrude upon your life, sweet sir,
please let me, remind you why you tried.
I want to see you fly higher than the clouds above,
forming fictional minds to dream above.
I don’t, want to feel the cold weather anymore,
please let the rain pour one last time as I cling to you tight.
Don’t forget me, please don’t leave me,
don’t leave me behind in this sweet ride of pain.
Louisa Coller Jun 2018
abnormal in thought, perfect in action
    2. people both love me and hate me
    3. I come in all shapes and sizes
    4. I’m kind of like one, but not the other
    5. Sometimes you try to see me.

Do you know what I am?
Different.
When finishing my art course, I saw some options, stay in my home town with my family and either work or take a new course or move away to pursue something else.

I realistically didn’t want to go to a big university. I feel I need someone’s guidance a little more when learning and in a room with over 500 different students all trying to do the same, it becomes difficult. So I stayed and was offered to join a Digital Film Production course. I loved the idea! I love art, music, I genuinely adored animation too, so I thought why not dust off film and give it a shot?

I didn’t actually initately like film when I considered enrolling, which leads to people to most likely scream ‘Why did you take this risk then?’, because I wanted to. I wanted to learn about it, even if I originally didn’t care. I wanted to learn something different.

When arriving at my course, I made friends with some unique characters. Some different to many others I’ve ever met before. It was a relief.

People often try too hard to either be different or fit in. It’s really not worth the time. It’s best to be who you want to be in reality and for me, it was tough to get a grip of that initately until I met these people.

They showed me that what we like, shapes us. We become what we adore, hate, fear etc. We’re all pretty unique, but in being unique itself, makes us the same. So when we define what is ‘different’ to what is ‘normal’, what do we say?

The only time someone seems different to you is because of the following:
    • They are mentally different
    • They are physically different
    • They liked things you originally would have liked, not liked or don’t know of.
...and a lot more at that!

It’s a really complicated topic to think about.
I think in reality, it’s just better to not lie about what makes you unique. Find things you like yourself, express how much you like those things or want to do those things! Imitating isn’t always bad, since imitation is what teaches us a lot of things in life but never feel afraid to add your own extra spice of individuality to what you do.

So this poem I was looking into the idea of following the structure of a Riddle, I didn’t originally intend for the numbered parts of the poem, but I thought the list structure added to it.
Louisa Coller May 2019
You talk, you glow,
It's proudly put on show.
You wanted, you wasted,
It's perfectly translated.

I doubt my body and self,
Would you rather be somewhere else?
Louisa Coller Sep 2023
I got red lipstick, dedicated to my old ways of a diva,
your there, with a cheek full of blush, darkened eyes.
It's like magic, feeling this intoxicated love, wow.

Your kisses are all over my mind, I just want them,
I want to feel your chest like, let me linger, let me touch your heart,
kiss me until I'm dead, poison me violently tonight.

I feel like I just turn this all on like streetlights,
or a blaze among this wind, rip my life into an inferno,
drinking isn't fun without a friend, I just want you here again,
I can't remember the clock tower's chimes when my mind is in awe.

Church bells ring, they must sound like needles within your heart,
for me it's something new, a fun experience and an adventure,
I want to kiss you as well, my mind is in a daze but I don't care,
it's okay if it's a mistake, I'll enjoy it, it's a part of the fun.

I just want to know the boy laying within this man,
I feel if life was different we could, find a new little secret talk,
something that could take over this world, but you won't let me turn it up.

I understand I can be wrong, my decisions are terrible,
but my taste, it's a fine watery Merlot, coated in sicking fun,
I know I can be wrong, but the fun it remains and I want you there.

Drinking isn't fun without a friend.
Louisa Coller Jun 2022
Silver linings break me apart,
Undeniably fragile in my mind.
Zealous or jealous? I'm not envious,
Uptight, maybe.

Kindly remind me that you,
Love me too.
Louisa Coller Mar 2018
Trembling, wondering, knit together tight.
A blanket of stars, swept upon the shoreline.
You count each dreamer with a smile on their face.
How can the world say their struggles are fake?
Louisa Coller Jan 2020
Emergency! Emergency!
My brain's siren blows!
We have to stop!
We must get off!
No no no.

Emergency! Emergency!
My brain will spin now.
It's just one lock,
Just rip it off.
No no no.

Emergency! Emergency!
I know it won't end.
My head screams die,
My hand grips tight.
No, no... No.

Emergency... Emergency...
The emergency stop is here.
If the train tips aside,
You could die...

It's better to be safe than dead.
I haven't been the best mentally but this poem came to mind.
Louisa Coller Dec 2022
I've developed a fragile heart,
It makes me afraid of change.
I want to show you love,
But I fear you won't feel the same.

Your respect is strong and rigid,
But my heart is warm and pumping.
So I feel myself falling in love,
In the ways I feel I shouldn't.

You're stories birthed amongst the stars,
Makes my heart start growing leaves.
You said the fog was way too thick,
To see the constellations.

You were all my heart craved,
Under a mistletoe Christmas.
But even this year I'm alone,
Because you're not the one in it.

Each poem I write comes to an end,
But my heart feels the same.
The pumping, the butterflies and sick,
I'd do anything for you to feel the same.
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