(I was not able to format the alternating lines.)


Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                               Allegro – The Girl at the Piano


                                              Cf. Antoni Ditlef


An inexpensive lithograph from long ago

                    (Can you tell me what it’s worth?)

A beautiful girl in a red evening gown

             (But what’s it worth?)

In a picture of aspiration, of hope

             (Yeah, but is there any money in it?)

That our daughters will live accomplished lives

                     (I seen one on the internet for a thousand dollars)

And not as tatted Shelobs schlubbing on a couch

             (I need the money for a motorcycle)

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                          Hallowed be Thy App

               “…that unmistakable English church-going pace…
               holding, bound in black lamb-skin and white celluloid,
               the liturgies of a half dozen conflicting sects…”

                                -Waugh, Brideshead Revisited

One sees a Bible only occasionally
Even more rarely a Sunday missal
Which, with coat and tie and the mantilla
Are relics of a courtlier, more dignified time

The faithful now carry the scriptures as apps
The rosary the same (maybe next to Candy Crush)
An electronic conscience funded by an investment firm
And available at a low introductory price

A talking box - it must be Godly and true
And just as eternal as the Apple II

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

          The New Pastor Threatens the Congregation with Guitars

Our new pastor has visions, dreams beyond the stars
At Mass last week he informally presented
This suggestion: a choir. And guitars
But peace will still obtain, tho’ that twanging jars -
Guitars in church are why ear plugs were invented

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

        The New Pastor Threatens the Congregation with Guitars

Our new pastor has visions, dreams beyond the stars
At Mass last week he informally presented
This suggestion: a choir. And guitars
But peace will still obtain, tho’ that twanging jars -
Guitars in church are why ear plugs were invented

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                                        Icetrooper

Dear Icetrooper,

When you go home at night (perhaps to pray)

Does your daughter look up to you and say,

“Daddy -

How many crying children did you drag away

Away from their handcuffed moms and dads today?”

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                             The Toenail Clippers of Damocles

He who would sit upon a throne of power
Reigning his people from the sovereign’s seat
Let him not neglect in a careless hour
To practice good hygiene upon his royal feet

For suspended above him by a horse’s hair
CLIPPERS, which through and under his toenails pass
Thus beneath that weapon hov’ring in the air
He is cautioned not to be a horse’s (posterior)

And so reposing upon his royal couch
Let not the king be heard to whimper “OUCH!”

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                        Laundry Day - The Solemnity of All Stains

The washing machine baptizes our busy days:
A shirt freshly stained with this morning’s coffee
Wrinkledy tees in grimy greens and greys
A child’s blue jeans all sticky with toffee

Dish towels we allowed to get old-food smelly
A nice dress sock on which the puppy peed
Blankies from the couch in front of the telly
The terry-cloth that toweled the shaving bleed

To the laundry room where all these wreckages convene
There to be made all fresh and bright and clean –
Thus
Let us give thanks for the washing machine!