I walk around
The air as still as can be
Shivers run up and down my spine
The room is like a blank canvas
The only color is the yellow tiles
And the fading white walls


The chair creaks as I sit
The sound bouncing from the walls
My shoulders lean forward
And my eyes close to imagine
This room from when I was a child


The memories start spilling,
They make my heart ache,
My throat close,
And my chest burn.


The floor underneath croaks with each step
And the doors have started slamming with the lightest breeze
The windows can’t hold themselves up anymore
And I realize
The room I grew up in
The room with all my greatest moments
Has become a place that’s no longer recognizable
Only the aroma brings back
A trace of childhood
That’s left in this broken place
I once called home

I love you like the sun loves the moon
As they say
It hides every night
Just to let the moon rise

Your smile brightens my mood
No matter what it is
Your touch tingles my very core
You make me feel

I love all your little quirks
And imperfections
They remind me of who you are
And why I’m in love with you

I love the way your eyes crinkle when you smile
And it reaches to your cheeks
It shows me it’s genuine
I love it especially when I’m the reason for it

I love the way you talk
How you look away after eye contact
The shyness doesn’t go away
Even after all the time we’ve spent together

I love the sound of your laughter
The way it brightens your features
And the way it lifts up the tension
It truly makes me happy to know your happy

I love how you stuck with me
Even through the tough times
Even after I was being selfish
It showed me you really care

You’re like the sun and I, the earth
You’re the center of my universe
And I just want to get closer and closer to you
Just like the earth revolves around the sun ; closer and closer

I love you
I’ve been in love with you since the moment we met
I want to spend my happily ever after with the woman I love
And the woman I love is *you

At night
the city lights up
it’s glow replacing the sun

At night
everything is peaceful
the faint noises still heard

At night
kids go up their roof
thinking about their past and future

At night
the stars holp up the moon
staying together until the sun comes up

A fresh wind
a walk in the park
leaves falling down
mild weather
sweaters and coffee
then winter comes
white covered land
everything draped in snow
blinded by the sparkles
.....so white

Black and White
the world is colorless
I’m here feeling numb
you’re not beside me
so lost, I am
everything is so confusing
you sheltered me
from the outside
now that you’re gone
I’m left here on my own
I can’t see anything
except for black and white
I know I shouldn’t feel this way
after what you did to me
but I can’t help it
My love for you was real
If only you could say the same
such a tragic ending
not what I expected
but this is reality
I should stop daydreaming
because it always breaks my heart in the end

bodies are shamed
made fun of
because they don't fit
society's definition of beauty

your weight matters
your waist skinny
your stomach flat
and legs skinny

have we no shame
to make fun of bodies
bodies that are all the same inside

putting somebody below you
because of their body shape
makes you a smaller person
then them

I want a perfect body
I want a perfect face
You look like an angel
I just feel so out of place

Your laugh is like music
Your voice like a song
I stand and look at you
And I know I don't belong

You're so special
And I'm a creep
Everybody wants you
But nobody wants me

I wish I was special
But I'm just a creep
everybody wants you
They don't give a ****
About me

the demons inside me
i can't get rid of
taunting me relentlessly
still i can't shake them off
it's like they have taken ahold of me
taking control of my own body
of my own conscience
making me fall deeper
and deeper
feeding me nonsense
making me believe
believe that i'm nothing
nothing but a waste of space

And I say goodbye
as I fall… blissfully into a deep slumber
where all my vivid imagination stand in front of me
each one more quixotic than the other

tears dripping from your eyes
and they run down your cheeks
to your nose and your lips

no one there to wipe them away
only a demon inside
to accompany you as you fade

the patriarchy is taking over this world
this world where both men and women have lived for thousands of years
never have we had to fight for rights that was to be given to us
never have we had to reunite millions of people
to try and solve a complication that shouldn't have rose in the first place
no women shall be deprived of basic human rights
no women shall be treated as an insignificance
a women can't do what she wishes without a comment of dissatisfaction,
without a comment of unrighteous criticism
the equality of both genders is a rising problem
we fought this over 100 years ago and the inequality is still not resolved
it's sad to see that gender is one of the major things that tear this world apart
it's retched to know that women are to be thought of as a lesser human and sometimes an inexistent creature
our voices are silenced by those who wish to be in power
by those who are afraid of what we can do
this is becoming history and us women won't stop until we get the same payment, the same rights, the same treatment that men have
we have fought too **** long
we are human, we are people and we deserve to be treated as such

my mind is all over the place
your voice getting faint
still can’t remember you clearly
only blurs remaining in my head

most memories forgotten
bits and pieces replaying
your face half covered up
your eyes as lifeless as me

sirens coming closer
hands forcing my eyes open
my lungs breathing for air
my arms becoming limp

my body becomes weaker
as somebody shouts at me
“ stay awake” over and over
if only they knew in a matter of time
I would be nothing just like them to me

I have been broken and bent for so long
Not truly knowing where I belong
I feel the dread crippling through my veins
As I break and break again
I long to see the days
Where I’m finally taken away
From this dark and silent mind
To see what else I can find
Every second, minute, hour I’m here
I’m losing myself even further, I fear
I’ve spent so much time on the ground
Staring at the pieces of myself I’ve found
Still as I try to piece my heart back together again
Like a mosaic, it doesn’t quite fit right in
And so I rest and try again tomorrow
The crushing pang in my chest of sorrow
I rise and fall and rise and fall
I guess life really is a ride of heartbreak after all

I explored all there was to see
cities, islands, mountains
there was a new place to visit every single day
each one full of life
I could see my dreams coming alive
but in my heart was a pang of longingness
I love all these places but at the end of the day
I just want to go back home and sleep in the same bed that I used to when I was a kid.

If I showed you my scars
would you run away
or will you take a chance
and tell me it’s okay
would you hold me all night
and make me forget the pain
slowly falling asleep
to the sound of the rain
will you stay with me
and hold me as i cry
talk with me
until it’s time to say goodbye
if i showed you my scars
will you change your mind
go without a trace
as i’m left behind

You're here on my porch
begging to let you in
trying to apologize
but darling, it's a little too late for that

You say that you want me back
but i'm already gone
fooled me once, shame on you
fool me twice, shame on me

My presence unknown
My tears unseen
My screams unheard
My life undiscovered
My thoughts unsaid
My dreams impossible
I’m invisible

The water ripples
as I throw a penny in
wishing for something as I do
looking deep inside
I can see others have made a wish too
I guess we want to believe
that they'll come true

never had somebody
love me like you
the way you take over me
is scary and new

the little sparks ignite
every time you come near me
i don't know what love is
but you help me to see

I've stayed clear
from the big L itself
nothing good ever comes from
keeping someone to yourself

but with you
i love the way it seems
i guess no one can ever stay away
from the root of dreams

I don't tell anyone how I feel
there's too much emotion and not enough words
I feel like I'm all alone and no one understands
even if people are going through the same thing

I don't cry in front of anyone
it's a sign of weakness
I feel embarrassed
even if no one laughs

I don't self-harm myself though
even though sometimes it seems like the only way
to release the emotional pain
it doesn't solve anything

So put down the razor
cry if you're hurting
tell people how you feel
and most importantly, don't hate yourself and don't let anyone put you down.

I'm just me
a person that doesn't do anything perfectly

I'm very normal
There's nothing extraordinary about me

If a stranger were to see me, there would be no second glances
I blend in with the crowd

I'm nothing exquisite
I'm just *me

sweet sounds
so melodious
like a bird chirping a morning song
i listen closely
not wanting it to end
it takes me somewhere
another place, another time
not stuck in the present
until it stops
and i'm back to where i was
before the angel-like voice
interrupted my day

The music drifts my mind away
Each beat shuddering through my whole presence
Making my heart thump and my blood frantically flow through my veins

The city lights hide the dark shadows of the night
Bringing warmth and safety to the room
Like a big blanket that protects you from the things scaring you

People huddle in groups, all enjoying the ebullience in the air
Smiles and laughter could be heard from miles away
Not a trace of unhappiness on this beautiful night

I look around me, my eyes shining as bright as the stars
Smiling at the sight surrounding me
My stomach fills with butterflies and goosebumps trail my arms and legs
And a warm feeling ignites within me
This is a night, a moment I’ll never forget.

oh , how i love you
I’ve made you with my own bare hands
I’ve made you the trees, the earth, the water

oh , how I love you
The way you use my gift for you
It feels almost nostalgic

Oh, how i love you
The way you waste your purpose here
With selfish and greedy deeds

Oh, how i love you
The monster you’ve turned into
Now I must return the favor

hey my little angel,
how're you doing
haven't seen you in a while
hope I've made you smile

hey my little angel,
how're things from above
do you feel what I believe
do you see what I've achieved

hey my little angel,
things just aren't okay
I keep thinking it'll get better
but instead it's all the same

hey my little angel,
will you recognize me
when I meet you someday
in your land far, far away

hey my little angel,
make me see
show me the light
I won't give up the fight

late nights and having fun
movie nights and spa days
mani-pedis and hair stylists
so many memories and pictures
i'll never forget you

when we hear someone's name
their face comes to mind
their personality, their body, their voice
sometimes it makes you feel good and
sometimes it doesn't
but when your name is called
it makes my heart beat harder and faster
it makes breathing difficult
it makes a smile tug at the corners of my lips
a name is just a word
but when placed to a person it becomes so much more
it makes you feel just by hearing it
and whenever i hear your name
i *feel

you treat people sweetly
believing they have a heart like yours
but not everyone can be as soft
and sweet as you
the person they truly are
is not that person to you
they become just as sweet and tender in your mind
and you give and give
they take and take
and here you are in the end
left empty
and there they are
left full.

stuck in the past
not in the present
not moving forward
instead going back in time
pieces of memories
burned in my mind
too caught up in that nightmare
to see what beauty today is
and so on it goes
like a song on repeat
same yesterday
same today
same tomorrow

the riptides poke at their flesh
forcing their skins to open as it bleeds freely into the icy water
it ****** their fingers and stings to the very core
violently tearing the soft covers that protect their bones from shattering
their teeth crushing onto each other at uncontrollable speed, biting onto their lips and tongues once in a while making their eyes tear up
the murky water fills their lungs with each breath they take,
their legs and arms flailing, trying to stay above but it's too strong
it bites back and forces them underneath,
suddenly there's no more thrashing, no more screaming
just silence
and the water stills...
but no one comes back up

silence
no words spoken
no voices heard
so unusual
so ...  
           odd
but beautiful
every once in a while

s
  i
    l
     e
       n
          c
            e

is good

you wear a mask everyday
retaining your thoughts to yourself
bearing a fake smile as you trudge through the halls

your head down, your pace quick
you disguise the hurt with pleasure
pleasure that quickly vanishes and is replaced with another

I catch a glimpse of you and my mind whirs
you never seem to show any other emotion than a smile on your charming face

I purposely walk in your direction and hastily bump your shoulder
looking into your eyes
and I can tell that only they show the true emotion you hide
the blue swirls hypnotizing me

they hold so much grief and I wonder
what has he gone through that brings him so much trouble
of course I never got to find out,
he was just a stranger that I wasn't supposed to know
and with that we both walked away

walking along the beach
a warm summer breeze passes
birds chirping along with each other
laughter in the background
seems like everyone's come
to enjoy a nice summer day

The story of one can be heartwarming
I for one have known it
It started from when I saw a boy
Crying silently to himself
the other kids pushed and kicked
but never once did he speak
I went to them and stood up
they slowly gave up and left
He looked at me with desperation in his eyes
With the tears still flowing down
I helped him up and gave a hey
he smiled slightly and gave a wave
and that was the day I saved a life
just by helping him and being nice
right now we're the best of friends
living life and still moving forward

i don't know what i did wrong
but you won't pick up the phone
and every time i think we're through
you come back and say i love you

it's like i'm stuck in your twisted game
and the rules change everyday
too scared i might break things
it's like i'm trapped in you

don't you think that i'm too young
don't you think you've done enough
with all your pleadings and all your guilt
i guess i was too gullible and thought you'd have changed

you come and leave anytime you want
using me but i can't get out
stuck in a maze and i'm trying to find an exit
but you're in the way every time i try to leave

droplets of water touches my revealed flesh,
sliding down until it reaches the end and drops onto the ground beneath my feet
i can no longer ignore the heaviness in my chest as the rain pours onto me and you come into view
my eyes glass over and soon the tears mix with the rain, and
the wracking of my shoulders begin
i entangle my arms around myself as if i can keep my broken self together somehow
my eyes wander to you and you unfold your arms, holding them straight out for me to run into
without my permission, my legs start moving on their own towards you and suddenly, i'm wrapped in your warm arms,
my ear on your beating heart,
t                         t
h                        h
   u                       u
     m                     m
        p                     p

you place a feathery kiss on my temple and i close my eyes, savoring this moment
my short quick breaths could still be heard as the tsunami coming out my eyes still wreck my face and you stand there,
softly tapping your fingers on the small of my back, slowly calming me down until my breathing becomes regular
and the tears come to an end, but we still stand there
embracing each other, encased in each other's scent
silently speaking unspoken words

I’m underwater
I cannot breathe

I’m underwater
darkness surrounding
me

I’m underwater
my lungs
caving in

I’m underwater
drowning
an escape
from reality

the constellations of stars
as we stare silently into the dark abyss of the sky
remind me of how my heart used to align with *yours

saying this makes my heart ache
my stomach churn
and my eyes water
but a place like this
is not one i would've liked to exist in
where everyone excludes one
because of a language barrier
and is punished for speaking their own language
because the others felt uncomfortable
it disgusts me
that people think it's acceptable
and it saddens me
that this is a world we live in