i think that the most damaged people in the world
are the kindest
and the softest

because they know
that scabs can be picked
and you can bleed

I’m thinking about Joni Mitchel’s River
How in the midst of
Describing her lonely stale Christmas
She breaks out with
“I made my baby cry”
And of Hemingway
In The Sun Also Rises
Describing the night, the bar,
The scene and then says
“and with them was Brett”
I’m drunk and I’m thinking too much and
Aching for
Something to stop me on my heels, my pupils wide
My obsession burning on my lips
It’s my first day of school tomorrow
I’m scared of mediocrity
So I’m drinking hard tonight to make
Sure it never gets to me
My heart will always sing
Let it be blue
Let it be dark
But it shall sing
I’m smoking cigarettes like I have no due date
Give me a thing to make a mess of, life.
I’m bored and begging. I want
The wild heart searching like a lioness in the
Heat of the savannah night
I want my nails dug deep into it
I want it to squeal
Life, give me something to
Make a mess of
It doesn’t have to be this way
But it is
The clock ticking
Towards midnight
Like a knife
On my skin
Give me something right
And I’ll make a
Mess of it tonight.

You broke my heart and I'm trying to mend it
I'm leery and weary and can't forget it
I want to trust again but I'm not sure I can
Stepping out to turn back time
It's all an illusion of the mind
I don't know where to go from here
My mind tells me to run from this fear
With all that's decaying the healing is in my tears

Silent numbness
Wiping the cleansing bitter water from my face
Wishing it was tranquil tears of loving something or someone too much
Or the chilled morning rain trickling down my nose
Closing my damp lashes
Drifting to a distant far away galaxy
Only to wake up and start over
Once again