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golden muse Nov 2018
i met you by chance in the fall on a rainy night,
the clouds rolling as i felt the cold air breeze by,
not really thinking of the world around,
not really thinking of the possibilities.

you showed up out of nowhere
flashing that pretty smile and those big eyes at me,
distracting me from any other qualities i could spot about you.
i thought you were too fine to be talking to me.
i thought maybe you mistaken me for someone you knew,
someone that could meet your stature because
i knew it couldnt be me.
you were too fine be in such a small,
insignificant city that we were in.
so trivial, so dull and boring.
i remember you looking me in the eyes
and your pupils dilated.
you were looking for my soul and my weaknesses,
thats what i felt.
i melted instantly, like your hands were all over me
but you never touched me.
i sighed hard as you kept hearing me talk,
looking at me with those big, brown eyes.
you knew that i was feeling you by that sigh,
i couldnt care less.

i dared you to touch me in my mind,
at that moment i couldnt think of nothing else
but you feeling me and i wanted to do the same with you.
i wanted nothing more to feel your hands, your muscles, your face and lips... i wanted you and more.
but i had to wait for the right moment,
the moment that changed everything.

i noticed how every part you was smooth, structured.
you were a beautiful piece of work.
i needed you to need me,
feel how i know you could make me feel,
give me more than what i expected.
i wanted to feel how hot your body felt on mine,
how it felt to have your lips pressed to every inch of me,
all the way to my head, down to navel and even lower.
i needed you to hold me... touch me...
**** the **** out of me if you wanted to
because i knew i was the right one to play with,
to want and need.

i didnt know what i was getting myself into...
to be honest, i kind of did.
i kind of knew as soon as you looked at me,
the first time you decided to go soul searching in my eyes,
seeing that i had been waiting on someone like you.
i definitely knew as soon as you grabbed me,
kissing me as you held me,
intertwining my vibe with yours.
that first contact was oddly shaking,
almost nerve wracking because you did it so smoothly.
so sensually like you thought i was china.
i couldnt believe how soft you made me feel,
how gentle your rough hands were.
it was so intoxicating,
i didnt want you to let me go.

as you continued,
i noticed that you whispered little things to yourself
as your hands traced against my body.
i could feel you moan as you kissing me.
touching every part of me,
caressing my *******
kissing my collarbone,
all the way down in between my thighs.
your eyes followed my every moment under your grasp,
i was yours and you could feel it in my shivers.
you could feel that i wanted more and i could see it in your face
that you were going to give it to me.
i loved how you knew exactly what i liked without
me having to guide you, tell you what i wanted.
you were a professional,
someone who wrote the book on sensuality.
you were heaven sent, a man with a purpose.

i never felt so weak in my life,
so powerless because i knew we were on the same energy,
the same level of thinking.
we both wanted each other more than the other,
we became harmonized, in sync with each other's heartbeat
as the night flew past and the morning peaked over the horizon.
i felt your hand rest on my face as i slept,
your breath slowly blew on my forehead.
you knew i would be back,
you knew that you had a control set on me now,
and i would listen to anything you said,
i would obey anything you said or wanted me to do.
i was yours, you were mine.

the thoughts, the memories i have together...
unmatched to anyone or whoever decided
to cross my path the way you did.
i needed more and more of you afterwards,
and the thoughts that you left with me.
golden muse Aug 2016
don't love me when i'm gone.
don't text me when you realize you love,
when you realize I was the only one on your time,
the only one real with you.
don't call me when finally realize i'm not
like them other chicken heads that be chasing you,
that you ****** me over for.
don't come at me with that “ I miss you, I need you “,
don't try to win me back.

don't come looking for the love I spilled on you before
back in the memories I try to hide,
the memories that we made together.
you ****** up.
I was the one that had you when them chicken heads just wanted your money,
just wanted to waste your time and blur your eyes with the haze of their *** drive,
their drive to steal you away from me.
the thing is… I never did have you.
I never had the real love, the real loyalty,
the real you.
you played me, you played yourself and everyone around you.
don't come back looking for me to forgive and forget,
to ever let you back into my life.

no hard feelings,
it's just that I learned my lesson.
don't come back when you realize
you ****** up heavy,
too heavy to breathe.
don't come back when you had the chance to
have all the love I could give, all the loyalty, all the greatness
you could have ever experienced in one lifetime.
don't come back when you see me love another,
when all the love you could of had falls onto someone else,
someone better than you could ever be to me.

He realized what he had at day one,
at the first look at me, the first touch he gave.
He knew that I was more than what others could see,
what others couldn't detect, couldn't fathom.
He realized that I am like no other,
that I am one of those that can't be just easily replaced.
He realized that you made the way, and he’s thankful.
There is a girl, on whom I've grown sweet,
the most gorgeous girl, I ever did meet ,
with beauty beyond, such false compare,
at which I must try not to stare.

Her lips press so soft against mine,
and for a moment everything feels fine,
along my chest, her fingertips trace,
quickly causing my heart to race,

and all I know, is simply this,
there's nothing I want, more than her kiss.
golden muse Aug 2016
It happened without me really knowing,
almost like my brain wasn't able to catch up
with my heart and soul,
almost like it was perfectly unplanned and unattended,
so unexpectedly beautiful.
It was so perfect how it happened it would make the strongest of souls
fall to there knees and cry with the last of the love they had,
with the last of who they were.

How all this settled out to be left my mind in a blur of unknowing,
questioning everything I thought I believed in,
everything I thought was true.
Everything that I thought made sense was now a question to be held,
questions that I still can't fathom to begin to answer.


But what I do is for certain about all of this,
one thing I know makes so much sense---
that the love I have for you will never fade,
will never ever go away no matter what I try to do,
no matter what you try to do.
you are the light in my life,
the glow that keeps me going.
You are and will always be meant for me and I to you.
You are what most want to be to me,
be the only love in my life,
you are my reason,my future.

You are the reason I let my guard down.
golden muse May 2016
this is for those girls whose hearts are shattered
like window glass and broken mirrors,
whose spirit has twinkled only to a whisper of contempt.
this is for the girls whose mind are lost,
whose minds are warped into some fantasy of what they really need,
the love they’ve needed all along.
this is for the girls who’s lost their way in the world,
who knows not the path that was destined for them so
takes them all in due time.
this is for the girls who hears the words, “it's not your fault, it's going to be okay. You just need some time to yourself for a while.” countless and countless of times,
over and over again because it's a “need to a troubled soul” .
this is for the girls who have been let down and
have been told to just move on and deal with it for your countless years.
this is for the girls who have been judged, persecuted and called out of character
for years because of appearance and different mind thinking,
for being the female that go over boundaries and takes risks.
this is for the girls whose mother cares more about appearance and titles,
then feelings and real emotion and love,
who only cares how your actions reflect her and her family,
who only sees you as what she sees or what her friends have told her
When in reality, you've never done what she thinks you're doing,
you are just being you.

this is for the girls who need someone, someone who can understand them and love them,
someone who wont look back at their past and judge them heavily for something that cant be changed and hasnt changed a thing in that girl’s life.
this love letter is for the girls like me, and you, and you,
for every lonely girl that has a broken heart and more,
for the girls who has no one and no one wants her,
for the girls who give more love to one than they’ve ever gotten in there lifetime.
broken hearted girls.
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