I want you to be afraid of losing me
Maybe it'll happen today (tomorrow)

I am all in and you can’t be bothered to see that
I deserve to have my love returned just as fiercely as I give it (away)

The happily ever after (that we both never shared)

That night you looked at me, told me your hopes, dreams, plans.
I had never known, never asked.
I assumed (was scared) you didn't think the same as me
I wasn't sure it was real, convinced it was a good dream.

Until the next morning you pulled me close,
whispering you want to wake up next to me until we are wrinkly and gray. (I am going to love you until the end)

you've been gone longer than you were even here (stop trying to add me on social media)

you don't get to be written about (anymore), don't get to see where I am, how I've grown

fairy tales do exist, you just weren't mine (sixteen year old me would be crushed)

01:47 pm
Inevitable doom.
That's what he said.
He was right.
Let's face it.
We both knew he was leaving.

The dream on repeat,
you know, the one with the diamond.

Mentioning my fears, you did nothing to calm them.

The dream stays a dream
(always a bridesmaid, never the bride)

You snapped and cursed at me in the kitchen.
Slamming the door behind you,
you didn't catch the sound of my heart breaking on the floor.

I want you to be afraid of losing me.
(I'm not sure I can keep this going).

This is the second time you've left me broken.

The crisp, clean air of fall is heavy.
Your hand manages to find mine.
(I don't know what you want.)

Leaves dancing in the wind.
Mugs of hot tea and coffee.

The winter months will be long and lonely.