we're in that weird kind of limbo
not the party kind of limbo
that friendship to relationship bridge of limbo
and i don't even know
if you feel the same way
but i had to say
i can't wait anymore

there’s a part of me that wants to delete every social media app i have and go off the grid
there’s a part of me that believes it’s for the best
i should cut every tie to those i care about
and save them from my own self
there’s a part of of me believes i must succumb to my despair and accept my fate
i’ve always been afraid of ending up alone but maybe if it’s on my own volition then it may not be so bad??
they all deserve better then what i can offer
so who am i to deny the fates
and gladly drift away?
so unlike oedipus i face my fate head on
yet, despite the facade i have put up
i’m not as strong
as i believe i may be for unlike oedipus
i have too much love in my heart
to just leave

I never even fell in love with you
I never got the chance to feel more than just flighty feelings for you
Sometimes I wonder what we would’ve been like
A pair of friends, of something more
Would you have taken a chance on me if I were more?
Was I wrong to think that you might’ve felt something too?
Why do people think we would mesh well if you can’t see it either?
I never got the chance to try with you
I wish I didn't have to block out three months of whatever we were
Just to feel normal again
Why does it have to be awkward when we get paired together?
What can I do to fix it all?
I never even fell in love with you
But it feels like I did
This unrequited, unasked for, flighty finicky feelings of something
So yes, sometimes I think about what we could’ve been
I mean, you did hug me
I have the vague and foggy reminder of what it felt like
Your warmth enveloped my chill
And it all felt normal and right
Just for that very moment
It felt like home
It felt solid but…
I never even fell in love with you
I was in awe of who you had become
Yet it seems like you never changed at all
Had I created this new version of who you are just to please myself?
To justify what I thought about you?
I never even fell in love with you

i dont know why i still think about you
i shouldn't even care about you
but i do
and i hate it
i hate that i still think about you
and who you are to me
i hate how your voice makes me smile
how you make every song sound better
i hate how you knew just how to make me feel better
how we were supposed to stay friends
i hate how even though i say i hate you
i dont
i still care
and i still think about you
how you basically live in my head rent free
how good you look in a white button down and black slacks
how those glasses make you look so handsome
i could list a million things but they there aren't enough words
to describe how wonderful you are and can be
id say you are picture perfect
but thats just scratching the surface
you have grown and flourished
like a dandelion or a sunflower
i sometimes wonder if wed talk more if i hadn't given you that letter
if you would text me songs or just random things
but here we are
not friends or more
just strangers with moments shared between them